The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the
number
of opened and closed
shops
in a particular country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
,
it is clear that
during the period of eight years, the
number
of shop closures majorly exceeds the
shop
Correct quantifier usage
number of shop
show examples
openings,
while
both numbers tended to decrease throughout the period.
According to
the data, 2011 was the year when there were more
shops
opened
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 8,500
stores
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
its peak. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
, the
number
of closed
shops
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
at approximately 6,500
stores
. Three years later, the
number
of new
stores
declined significantly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 6,000
stores
, after experiencing a sharp fall
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
4,000
stores
in 2012.
On the other hand
, the
number
of
stores
which were out-of-business remained relatively stable during the same period.
Furthermore
, in 2015, the
number
of those who started their business experienced a decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
2,000,
while
the
number
of closed
shops
decreased dramatically to below 1,000
stores
during the year.
However
, until 2017, the
number
of
shops
entering the market remained unchanged, but the
number
of closed
shops
managed to rise
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 5,000
stores
at that time. In 2018, the
number
of new
stores
fell to its trough at 3,000
stores
,
while
for the closed
shops
, the numbers remained stable.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, stores with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • fluctuation
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable
  • comparable
  • speculate
  • external factors
  • increment
  • decrement
  • overall
  • composite
  • linear
  • net gain
  • net loss
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