The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
of opened and closed
shops
Use synonyms
in a particular country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
during the period of eight years, the
number
Use synonyms
of shop closures majorly exceeds the
shop
Correct quantifier usage
number of shop
show examples
openings,
while
Linking Words
both numbers tended to decrease throughout the period.
According to
Linking Words
the data, 2011 was the year when there were more
shops
Use synonyms
opened
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 8,500
stores
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
its peak. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
, the
number
Use synonyms
of closed
shops
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
at approximately 6,500
stores
Use synonyms
. Three years later, the
number
Use synonyms
of new
stores
Use synonyms
declined significantly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 6,000
stores
Use synonyms
, after experiencing a sharp fall
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
4,000
stores
Use synonyms
in 2012.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of
stores
Use synonyms
which were out-of-business remained relatively stable during the same period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2015, the
number
Use synonyms
of those who started their business experienced a decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
2,000,
while
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
of closed
shops
Use synonyms
decreased dramatically to below 1,000
stores
Use synonyms
during the year.
However
Linking Words
, until 2017, the
number
Use synonyms
of
shops
Use synonyms
entering the market remained unchanged, but the
number
Use synonyms
of closed
shops
Use synonyms
managed to rise
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 5,000
stores
Use synonyms
at that time. In 2018, the
number
Use synonyms
of new
stores
Use synonyms
fell to its trough at 3,000
stores
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
for the closed
shops
Use synonyms
, the numbers remained stable.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, stores with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • fluctuation
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable
  • comparable
  • speculate
  • external factors
  • increment
  • decrement
  • overall
  • composite
  • linear
  • net gain
  • net loss
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