IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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Many people have differing views regarding decisions on watching either foreign or
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
 produced
movies
Use synonyms
. There are several reasons why foreign
Use synonyms
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more popular.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my view,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should definitely provide more resources to support local
production
Use synonyms
.
Audiences
Use synonyms
 would prefer foreign
movies
Use synonyms
 for
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
 of all,
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 range
diversity
Change preposition
of diversity
show examples
 in
movie
Use synonyms
 stories or themes is a great attraction to the
audiences
Use synonyms
. These topics include horrible,
threaten
Wrong verb form
threatening
show examples
, love and scientific fiction. There are plenty of choices for different occasions
such
Linking Words
 as family and friends
gathering
Replace the word
gatherings
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of budgets are invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
insertion
Correct article usage
the insertion
show examples
 of magnificent graphic effects to enhance scents in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign films. It is difficult to see
such
Linking Words
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
editing in local ones.
Finally
Linking Words
,
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 characters of foreign
movies
Use synonyms
 are usually famous actors and actresses globally,
such
Linking Words
 as Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom
Cruse
Correct your spelling
Cruise
show examples
. Their supporters and fans would enjoy
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
 that
movie
Use synonyms
 even though it is not an epic.
Thus
Linking Words
, These factors are vital for
audiences
Use synonyms
 to select foreign
movies
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of local
movies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of items
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can do to support local
production
Use synonyms
. Financial support is one of the vitally important ways
encouraging
Change the verb form
to encourage
show examples
local
Change the adjective
locally
show examples
 made
movies
Use synonyms
. Fundings can be utilised for establishing more acting schools and education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that more professional lessons or courses for young writers, directors and actors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
startup
production
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 in order to develop the whole industry and compete
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
foreigns
Correct your spelling
foreign
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, competition for full funding of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
Change the adjective
locally
show examples
 made
movies
Use synonyms
 is certainly encouraging local
production
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
. The suggestions mentioned above are the fundamental solutions for the improvement of local
movies
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
audiences
Use synonyms
 prefer foreign films because of various reasons
such
Linking Words
 as
movie
Use synonyms
 themes, attractive editing effects and
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 actors of the
movie
Use synonyms
. Despite the strengths of foreign
movies
Use synonyms
, I do believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide more resources and investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different acting courses and local
production
Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
 in order to compete
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
companies
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 sectors.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, effectively addressing both why people prefer foreign films and whether governments should support local film industries. For higher scores, consider expanding on the reasons with more specific examples and detailed analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure coherence by avoiding abrupt transitions between points. You have a good logical flow, but you can further improve by linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument with greater ease.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and refine some sentences to improve the overall clarity. For example, the phrase 'a great attraction to the audiences' would be clearer as 'greatly attracts audiences.' Paying attention to such details can enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure that includes a solid introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay offers a well-rounded view on the issue, arguing both the popularity of foreign films and the need for government support of local industries effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph dealing systematically with different aspects of the topic. This makes your arguments easier to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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