IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So government and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. The what extent do you agreed or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

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The environmental issues, nowadays, have become increasingly to serve, leading to widespread concerns. Many argue
believe
Verb problem
apply
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that the
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
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 of regular
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 insufficient to address the issues. Others argue that only the
government
Use synonyms
 and large firms have the
powerful
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power
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 to be responsible
to tackle
Change preposition
for tackling
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 the problems. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint. I think that both individuals
,
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apply
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 and larger organizations have a crucial role to
pay
Correct your spelling
play
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 in addressing the environmental problems. First and foremost, the
government
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 and larger entities have the power and resources to make a significant
change
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. The
government
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 has
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
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 to transform
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 to be better by implementing the transportation systems in the country.
For example
Linking Words
, importing EV vehicles to run on city streets rather than using petrol cars.
In
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With
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this
Linking Words
change
Use synonyms
, carbon emissions have decreased in the air. The more we reduce carbon dioxide, the more we save the earth. On the other
hands
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hand
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, large corporations have
a
Correct article usage
the
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 biggest to lead a huge
change
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. They can transform their business models to be sustainable
compay
Correct your spelling
company
, which are protected the environment by reducing carbon footprints, and
developed
Wrong verb form
developing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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eco-friendly products.
For instance
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, Tesla company has produced a majority of electric car models.
However
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, some believe that ordinary
people
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 can’t make any
further
Linking Words
Use synonyms
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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.
In contrast
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, individual actions
is
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are
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apart
Correct your spelling
part
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 of a thousand
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 because
people
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 live in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 world, having a thousand million
people
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. When they are
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness of environmental issues and comprehensive ways to protect
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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,
such
Linking Words
 as using public
transportations
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transportation
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, and understanding how to
recycling
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recycle
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wastes
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waste
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.
Consequently
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,
leading
Wrong verb form
this led to
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 the biggest improvement.
To conclude
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that normal
people
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 cannot help the environment; only the
government
Use synonyms
 and larger
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 can solve these problems,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that both of them have led a remarkable achievement. By transforming the public transport systems, involving sustainable ideas, and individual actions.

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Grammar and Structure
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to increase clarity. For example, 'becoming increasingly severe' should replace 'have become increasingly to serve.'
Task Achievement
Expand on the examples provided to better illustrate your points. Adding more detailed examples would strengthen your arguments. For instance, explain more about Tesla's impact on the environment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and points to make the essay flow more smoothly. Use transitional phrases like 'Moreover' and 'In addition' to connect ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly identifies the roles of both individuals and large organizations in addressing environmental issues, providing a balanced viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
Relevant Examples
The mention of specific examples like EV vehicles and Tesla adds some relevance and strengthens your points.
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