IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others like familiar places. This question type asks you to discuss the advantages and disadvantages. You are not required to give your opinion. note Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of visiting new places.

#people #travel #holiday #places #type #note
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Most
people
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 like to travel during their holidays. They may go somewhere they know very well, or to a
place
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 they have never visited before.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of travelling to new
places
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.
1There
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1 There
 are a number of benefits to travelling to new
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places.2First
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places 2 First
, travelling can be a time for discovery. 3You can gain new experiences in a city or country that you have not visited.
4For
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4 For
 example, you may eat food that you have not tried or see a
place
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that is
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 very unusual.
5What
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5 What
 is more, when you visit a new
place
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, you develop your understanding of the world.
6It
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6 It
 is better to go where other
people
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 live and see the clothes they wear, the music they like, the food they eat and the local customs they follow. 1However, there are some disadvantages when you go to new
places
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. 2Firstly, it can be stressful, as it takes longer to make all
travel
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the travel
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 arrangements.
3When
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3 When
 I went to Canada
last
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 summer, I spent hours booking the holiday.
4Secondly
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4 Secondly
, it is easy to make mistakes. 5When you have never been to a
place
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 before, you do not know which restaurants and trips to avoid. In conclusion, travelling to somewhere new and different has both benefits and drawbacks.
People
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 can develop new interests in life and have a better understanding of the world.
However
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, going to new
places
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 can be stressful, especially if
people
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 do not know the area well.
Submitted by remalkhamis891 on

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task achievement
To achieve an even higher score, you could include more specific and diverse examples to illustrate your points more effectively. This would strengthen your argument and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a few more linking phrases or words to ensure a smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs. This will also make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of travelling to new places.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central point that is well developed.
task achievement
The usage of personal experience, such as the example of spending hours booking a holiday to Canada, adds a personal touch and illustrates the point well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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