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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares the share of Britain’s population who consumed five or more portions of fruits and vegetables in their daily meals. The data is categorised according to gender and age.

The bar chart compares the share of Britain’s population who consumed five or more portions of fruits and vegetables in their daily meals. The data is categorised according to gender and age.
#bar #britain’s #population #five #portions #fruits #vegetables #meals #data #gender #age
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The chart illustrates the expenditure
of
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on
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 the portions of produce, including fruits and vegetables in Britain for the
years
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 2001 to 2008, with the data categorised depending on age and gender.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that woman has the highest
expenditures
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expenditure
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 across all
categories
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 throughout the given period compared to
children
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 and
men
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. A notable trend is that all 3
categories
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 began increasing in the succeeding
years
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the least amount of the
consumptions
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consumption
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 of fruits and vegetables was among
children
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 across all
years
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. In 2001, women accounted for the highest expenditure, with well over 20%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
men
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, which was approximately 15%.
Children
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 accounted for the lowest share
in
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 year at roughly 10%. Numbers remained uniform during the next year, but women's expenditure experienced a slight increase. Continually, over the period of 2003
women
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women's
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 number continued gradually increasing, reaching just over 25%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2004 numbers remained relatively higher.
As all
Correct word choice
All
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categories
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 remained surging, with
woman
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women
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 at marginally over 25% and
men
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 at approximately 20%.
Children
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's consumption followed, with just past 15%. Numbers substantially escalated in 2006, with
woman
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women
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 accounting for the highest share in all
years
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 at around 35%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
men
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 and
children
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 followed at well over 25% and approximately 20%. Figures started gradually dropping during 2007 and 2008 across all
categories
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.
Submitted by ayatalsabahe on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, categories, children, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • portion
  • consumption
  • gender
  • age group
  • percentage
  • daily meals
  • recommendation
  • trend
  • health impact
  • government intervention
  • increase
  • decrease
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