Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’ world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that there are several critical
subjects
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that should be
thought
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taught
show examples
in schools.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that
history
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could be
important
Rephrase
as important
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as science and
tecnology
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technology
, there is
also
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an argument
the
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that
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says there are more important
subjects
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to teach
more
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apply
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than
history
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.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
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the one
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hand, by knowing more about
history
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the new generation could understand more about their cultures.
In other words
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,
this
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could lead them to be more connected to their traditions
as well as
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societies, which leads to
bridge
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bridging
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the gap between them and
eldry
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elderly
every
people.
In addition
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, there is a quote
says
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that says
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"
no
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No
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history
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no future" which
mean
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means
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all
ther
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the
their
new innovations and developments that we have now, it was not possible to have
it
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apply
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without backing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
history
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.
For example
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, till now researchers and scientists
refer
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have referred
show examples
te
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to
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old books and references to develop their studies.
On the other hand
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, science and
techonology
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technology
could be the most critical
subjects
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at schools, because it may be the
begning
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beginning
of a new innovation. It is
also
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possible to say that by these
subjects
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a nation might be more developed and has the potential to be a leader in many sectors.
Moreover
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, nowadays technology has become a crucial part
in
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of
show examples
our
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lives
lifes
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lives
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which
make
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makes
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it one of the most critical courses
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
any level in schools.
For instance
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, these two
subjects
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have become used in numerous fields, even though
it
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they
show examples
might be not directly related to
it
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them
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such
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as medical sectors and how the IA has
applied
Add a missing verb
been applied
show examples
in
it
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them
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. In
conclousion
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conclusion
, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that science and technology
subjects
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are way more
importent
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important
than
history
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because in the world that we live in
now
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now,
show examples
those
subjects
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are more needed.
Submitted by marim.almualim on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear but could be more concise. Avoid overly general statements and focus on the topic more directly.
task achievement
Support your points with more detailed examples and explanations to provide a stronger, well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to enhance the clarity and precision of your response.
coherence cohesion
While the overall structure is logical, make sure to have smooth transitions between ideas to maintain coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have addressed both views as required by the task, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, with clear divisions between the introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to explain the relevance of history and science/technology in education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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