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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia
#information #two #genres #tv #programmes #men #women #four #age #groups #australia
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The presented diagram compares the viewing habits of two genres of TV programmes-
reality
Use synonyms
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
 and
game
Use synonyms
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
- among men and women and across four
age
Use synonyms
 groups in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen in the illustration, both
reality
Use synonyms
 and
game
Use synonyms
 shows are most popular among
people
Use synonyms
 aged 45 and over.
Reality
Use synonyms
 shows are more popular among females in Australia , with 70% of women watching them.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
game
Use synonyms
 shows have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 male viewing rate, which is practically 65%.
According to
Linking Words
 the given chart,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of viewers of both genres are adults aged over 45, which
nearly
Add a missing verb
is nearly
show examples
 70%.
Reality
Use synonyms
 shows are least popular among the younger
age
Use synonyms
 groups, particularly those
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 16-24,
while
Linking Words
game
Use synonyms
 shows have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 groups of 25-33. The diagram reveals that there are far fewer
people
Use synonyms
 aged 35-44 watching
game
Use synonyms
 shows than
reality
Use synonyms
 shows.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are many more
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group 25-33 who watch
reality
Use synonyms
 shows than
game
Use synonyms
 shows.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reality, game, age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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