IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. HelShe has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holliday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #helshe #advice #holliday
Dear Friend, I am glad to hear about your
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nice decision. I try to
say
Verb problem
give
show examples
 some useful
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
. It depends
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 costs are your how many people
incleded
Correct your spelling
included
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your team and how long time you can spend
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
holiday trip. You have to
considered
Change the verb
consider
show examples
,three important things before you go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 travel.
Firstly
, You have to try
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
minimalist
Add an article
the minimalist
a minimalist
show examples
. Because the campsite has to easy fold and bring move.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
 important is your food and clothes, Did you know the brand FAJIN? their clothes are so comfortable, soft, light,
also
 warm.For food,
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 choice would be canned, bottled, and vacuum packaged. I don'
t
 suggest you a vegetable and a fruit.
Also
 don'
t
 forget
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
 the safety matches, mosquito spray and flashlight in the bag.
Next,
what kind of car have you chosen?
my
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 opinion, your old car is
incovinent
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
. if you have possible, you can choose more safety, and comfortable. The local road was very bad
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
last
 summer. oh, don'
t
forget
Add the particle
forget to
show examples
 check the
tires
Change the spelling
tyres
show examples
 of
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
.
Finally
, you need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some cash. perhaps in the countryside
couldn'
Correct pronoun usage
there couldn't
show examples
t
any
Add a missing verb
be any
show examples
ATM
Fix the agreement mistake
ATMs
show examples
, banks.. Have I safe trip.
Submitted by nbogey777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your letter’s coherence, it would be beneficial to organize your ideas more logically. Start with a clear introduction, followed by paragraphs that each focus on a single idea, and end with a concise closing paragraph.
task achievement
You should revise your language to more accurately reflect a friendly yet formal tone. Use complete sentences and avoid overly informal language to adhere to the writing task’s requirements.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations to fully accomplish the task. For instance, when describing possible disadvantages, discuss more specific scenarios or potential issues.
task achievement
Your intention to provide practical advice is clear and shows your concern for your friend's well-being.
task achievement
Including personal experience makes your advice more relatable and convincing.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: