IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packing. Discuss both views and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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There are common beliefs
such
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 as decreasing
quantity
Correct article usage
the quantity
show examples
 of packaged food should implemented side of the producers and sellers of
products
Use synonyms
. Others, including me, think that it mostly relied on
consumers
Use synonyms
 of the
products
Use synonyms
 as they can simply hold buycot for these kinds of
goods
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, manufacturers and supermarkets have huge power to reduce the spreading of packaged
goods
Use synonyms
. In the
production
Use synonyms
 stage producers of the
goods
Use synonyms
 may integrate new technologies that will help to avoid using packing for the
products
Use synonyms
. The selling stage
also
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 can contribute to
this
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 development by requiring their customers to bring their own bags
while
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 they in shopping.
For example
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, many developed countries have already started using
this
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 method in their supermarkets and malls. Customers who bring their own bags for their shopping can even get special discounts from supermarket management.
On the other hand
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, in every trade industry
consumers
Use synonyms
 are the most powerful force when it comes to changing anything.
Consumers
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 can affect the packaging of
products
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 by simply not buying
such
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goods
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. Any kind of
production
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 organisation will collapse without people who buy their
products
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.
For instance
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, we witnessed more than one time
consumers
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announced
Wrong verb form
announce
show examples
buycott
Correct article usage
a buycott
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 unhealthy foods and drinks like
coca-cola
Change the capitalization
Coca-Cola
show examples
 and fast food.
This
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 act forced to Coca-Cola company to change its
production
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 system and gave the public
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 alternative cola without sugar.
To conclude
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, despite the fact that
production
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 and selling organisations have power over whether
goods
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 should be packaged or not, without
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
 acceptance no one product will not able to be profitable.

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed explanations and examples to fully support your main points. This could provide a more balanced and comprehensive response and increase task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother progression of ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to reduce the number of minor errors. This improvement can elevate the clarity and precision of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the argument, providing a balanced discussion which is essential for task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, adhering to a logical structure.
task achievement
Examples such as the Coca-Cola buycott effectively illustrate the points made, contributing to the relevance and specificity of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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