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Band 3.5

Online shopping has gained immense popularity in recent years, challenging the traditional brick-and-mortar stores. Examine the advantages and disadvantages of both methods of shopping and give your opinion.

#popularity #years #stores #methods
Buying things on the Internet  is more popular than
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 shopping. In my opinion, it has more benefits
although
 online shopping includes some drawbacks. Buying things online is not for everyone. because old people may not understand.
However
, the dimensions may not be accurate.
Then
 it takes time to send it back and get another one.In most cases, it will not come in the condition shown in the picture.Many online stores are
cheat
Add an article
a cheat
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.It is impossible to know the quality. The good thing is that it saves a lot of time.You can order from anywhere. There's more to choose from.Currently, different programs have different stores on the
In addition
, it is convenient that you do not have to go around the shops. Currently the most developed online stores. Because everyone is ordering from home and it arrives fast. I think
this
 is the need of the hour.Many people have fun with online shopping.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task response
To improve your essay, ensure that you fully address all aspects of the task. For instance, provide a more balanced examination of both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping and brick-and-mortar stores.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas need to be presented more clearly and logically. Consider organizing your paragraphs in a way that each one discusses a single point or comparison clearly. For instance, one paragraph can cover the advantages of online shopping, the next can discuss its disadvantages, and so on for brick-and-mortar stores.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion to summarize the main points and offer a final perspective. A strong conclusion helps reinforce your arguments and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task response
Your essay starts off with a clear opinion, which is good as it sets the stage for your argument.
task response
You have correctly identified some key points about online shopping vs. traditional shopping, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Brick-and-mortar
  • Tactile
  • Fraud
  • Geographical limitations
  • Price comparisons
  • Instant gratification
  • Personalized service
  • Social experience
  • Hybrid models
  • Click and collect
  • Impulse buying
  • Physical examination
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
What to do next:
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