Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations,others ,however think that tv and internet is the best way to learn.Discuss both views and give your opinion
In
this
contemporary era, the tourism sectors
has been improved more than ever before; A certain number of people Fix the agreement mistake
sector
are considered
that Wrong verb form
consider
travel
is required to learn about other nations
while
others say that TV
and Correct article usage
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
is
the superior Correct subject-verb agreement
are
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
to learn
. Change preposition
of learning
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, travel
to other Wrong verb form
travelling
nations
is provided
more real unexpected Wrong verb form
provides
experiences
because this
is a
first- hand Correct article usage
the
experiences
that people get more real Fix the agreement mistake
experience
happines
rather than watching on Correct your spelling
happiness
TV
and internet
about Correct article usage
the internet
nations
. That is
, travel
enhances tourism sectors along
with
travellers can connect to the nation's Change preposition
apply
native
when they Fix the agreement mistake
natives
travel
to other nations
. For example
, these days, many mankind visit rare places which is
Change the verb form
are
Antartica
, Correct your spelling
Antarctica
this
experience is unique,
and Remove the comma
apply
unforgetable
moments. Correct your spelling
unforgettable
Hence
, getting new experiences
. unforgetable
memories and Correct your spelling
unforgettable
connecting
to the native folks that Replace the word
connections
brings
when humans Change the verb form
bring
travel
to other places to learn.
Conversely
, there are secondary-hand experiences
of TV
and internet
Correct article usage
the internet
also
provide myriad things about all nations
to learn without going to that
places. Correct determiner usage
those
This
is, it is a cost- less
Correct your spelling
cost-less
method
to learn, and anywhere, any place that can get all informations
from Change the wording
information
pieces of information
internet
, and Correct article usage
the internet
as a result
, money will be saved. For instance
, numerous travellers who have own
YouTube channels visit all Correct pronoun usage
their own
nations
, they upload all of their travel
vlogs, so mankind learn
about other Change the verb form
learns
naftions
by Correct your spelling
nations
TV
and internet
. Needless to say, prime mediaCorrect article usage
the internet
,
and social media are the superior Remove the comma
apply
way
to learn Fix the agreement mistake
ways
other
Change preposition
about other
nations
without neither
Verb problem
travelling
travel
nor
Correct word choice
or
spend
money.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
spending
although
, travel
to other nation
is Fix the agreement mistake
nations
a
best Change the article
the
method
to learn about other nation
because it brings real Fix the agreement mistake
nations
experiences
, and unforgettable memories, TV
and internet
Correct article usage
the internet
is
the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
superior
path to learn about the countries because it is a Correct word choice
best
cost-less
Correct your spelling
costless
method
. Fix the agreement mistake
methods
However
, in my opinion, getting real first-hand experiences
, and unforgetable
memories that brings when people Correct your spelling
unforgettable
travel
to other nations
to learn about that.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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grammar vocabulary
There are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes. Focus on improving grammar and sentence structure to make the essay clearer and more professional.
coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and generally clear, ensure your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points you'll discuss.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling.
structure
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarises the main points effectively.