IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations,others ,however think that tv and internet is the best way to learn.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #travel #nations #tv #internet
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In
this
 contemporary era, the tourism
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 has been improved more than ever before; A certain number of people
are considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 that
travel
 is required to learn about other
nations
while
 others say that
TV
 and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the superior
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
.
This
 essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand,
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to other
nations
is provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 more real unexpected
experiences
 because
this
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first- hand
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 that people get more real
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 rather than watching on
TV
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 about
nations
.
That is
,
travel
 enhances tourism sectors
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travellers can connect to the nation's
native
Fix the agreement mistake
natives
show examples
 when they
travel
 to other
nations
.
For example
, these days, many mankind visit rare places which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
,
this
 experience is unique
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 moments.
Hence
, getting new
experiences
.
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 memories and
connecting
Replace the word
connections
show examples
 to the native folks that
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 when humans
travel
 to other places to learn.
Conversely
, there are secondary-hand
experiences
 of
TV
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
also
 provide myriad things about all
nations
 to learn without going to
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 places.
This
 is, it is a
cost- less
Correct your spelling
cost-less
show examples
method
 to learn, and anywhere, any place that can get all
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and
as a result
, money will be saved.
For instance
, numerous travellers who have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 YouTube channels visit all
nations
, they upload all of their
travel
 vlogs, so mankind
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 about other
naftions
Correct your spelling
nations
 by
TV
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. Needless to say, prime media
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and social media are the superior
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to learn
other
Change preposition
about other
show examples
nations
 without
neither
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
travel
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 money. In conclusion,
although
,
travel
 to other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
method
 to learn about other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 because it brings real
experiences
, and unforgettable memories,
TV
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the
superior
Correct word choice
best
show examples
 path to learn about the countries because it is a
cost-less
Correct your spelling
costless
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
.
However
, in my opinion, getting real first-hand
experiences
, and
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 memories that brings when people
travel
 to other
nations
 to learn about that.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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grammar vocabulary
There are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes. Focus on improving grammar and sentence structure to make the essay clearer and more professional.
coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and generally clear, ensure your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points you'll discuss.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling.
structure
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarises the main points effectively.
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