IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Success in formal "pen and paper" examinations is often seen to be a sign of intelligence. To what extent do you agree with the view that formal examination measures

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previouslyً, "pen and
paper
Use synonyms
" examinations
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 popular with
people
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 and believed that it could be a sign of
intelligence
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, as
such
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,
intelligence
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 could be estimated through it. In my point of view, I do not agree with
this
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 opinion for some reasons. On the one hand , many
people
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for many important
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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. The most significant is that many
people
Use synonyms
measures
Change the verb form
measure
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the
Change the word
their
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intelligence
Use synonyms
Change preposition
by
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pen and
paper
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with
Change preposition
in
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 the traditional way
for example
Linking Words
 some
of
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apply
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contraries do the exam
paper
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 when
apply
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applying
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to
Change preposition
for
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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and high
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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choose them . On the other
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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hands
Add a comma
hands,
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 many individuals disagree with
this
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 explanation for many critical reasons the most significant is that
people
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 have their own cleverness,
therefore
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, there are many kinds of
intelligence
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 in the world.
In
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addition
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addition,
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 the kinds of
intelligence
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 are expressed through
characteristics
Correct article usage
the characteristics
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 of humans. I think
pan
Correct your spelling
PAN
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 and
paper
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examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
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not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
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 measure
intelligence
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for example
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, some
children
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children's
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intelligence
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 for for visual,
kinthstaic
Correct word choice
and kinthstaic
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 . On the one hand, a test is not good enough to meet some criteria
such
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 as quality and supervisory process.
Moreover
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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In reality, there is an increase
Change preposition
in
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the rate of cheating among pupils
such
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 as using the telephone or holding back documents in the exam room.
In
Change preposition
For
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 instance the current scenario, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies are considering marks just as an eligibility criterion and nothing else. They are highly concentrating on the practical skills and vocational training that an individual has been through. The interviewers
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 a candidate with relevant practical experience
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 just good marks because as per corporates, an intelligent person is the one who can survive and generate profit in the business world, and
this
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 is altogether impossible without practical knowledge.
For instance
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, many known businessmen have never been to B-School and with their intellect, they are ruling the business In conclusion,
although
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 both views have their own
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 l still strongly believe that
paper
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 and pen
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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measure
Correct article usage
a measure
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 of
intelligence
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.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should present one main idea, supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on using transition words and phrases to link your ideas more smoothly. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Ensure each point you make directly addresses the prompt. Sometimes, your arguments were a bit vague or lacked clear connection to the topic.
task achievement
Use varied sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your ideas.
content
Your essay shows an understanding that intelligence can be multifaceted and not solely measured by exams.
task achievement
You provided real-world examples, such as companies' hiring practices, to support your arguments. This adds relevance to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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