Some university students want to learn about other subjects inaddition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #inaddition #time #attention

It is argued that some learners want to study an extra

subject

apart from their major,

while

others believe that it is more crucial to concentrate on the major

subject

. In

this

study, I will discuss both sides and give my opinion. On the one hand, some

students

are talented

to multitask

Change preposition

at multitasking

show examples

This

means they can take an extra

course

on top of the main

subject

they are studying and have

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

outstanding results, and

this

will improve their curriculum vitae later in life.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Nursing

students

at the University of Florida are encouraged to take a computer

course

This

skill will

be of

Verb problem

have

show examples

a significant impact when it comes to job hunting after school.

Further

, the extra

course

enables them to lower competition among different people who will be in need of specialists as the employers

selects

Change the verb form

select

show examples

the one with the many

courses

On the other hand

students

are expected to dedicate their time to the

courses

which they applied in various colleges or universities.

This

helps to provide quality results as there is no time lost

while

concentrating on the other subjects.

For example

, the UK university has set a rule to ban

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scholars from taking an extra class before the completion of main

courses

This

shows that there is a need to produce quality but not quantity as far as career growth is concerned. In conclusion, despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the argument that an extra

course

is vital for the

students

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that they should do one thing at a time.

That is

, they finish with the major

courses

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

take the extra

subject

independently.

Submitted by janenjeru6 on Mon Jul 15 2024

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task achievement

Your thesis statement in the introduction is clear, but it seems slightly mechanical. Try to make it more engaging or nuanced.

task achievement

In your conclusion, be consistent in capitalizing 'I'. Minor errors like these can affect the overall impression.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding transitions or connecting words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, 'furthermore' instead of 'further'.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a more nuanced conclusion that revisits the main points discussed. A strong conclusion ties the argument together more cohesively.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant and illustrative, which strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, which aids reader understanding.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects inaddition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing, and their health and fitness are suffering. What do you think are the causes of this and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??