Some people get into debts by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Nowadays, some
people
prefer get
into Fix the infinitive
to get
debts
by buying tersier needs and cannot afford them. Fix the agreement mistake
debt
This
kind of behavior will reflected on
their bank account. I believe there are several factors that drive Change preposition
in
this
attitude towards spending. There are Personal desire
, Fix the agreement mistake
desires
star
syndroms
, Correct your spelling
syndromes
syndrome
economic
Correct word choice
and economic
status
.
Personal desire is one of the crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
reason
behind Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
get
into loan in which things that they buy is part of their needs. Wrong verb form
getting
For example
, one of my colleage
bought an expensive laptop because she needs it for her work. The quick solution is she borrow Correct your spelling
colleague
college
colleagues
mony
from online applications and pay it in credit with low interest rates.
Another factor is Correct your spelling
money
star
syndrom
Correct your spelling
syndrome
that
is caused by Correct pronoun usage
which
massive
use of social media. A recent study shows that 80% Add an article
the massive
a massive
people
Change preposition
of people
accross
Southeast Asia used Correct your spelling
across
internet
for 8-10 hours a day. The use is Correct article usage
the internet
commonly
for social media Change the word
common
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
such
as Instagram, Facebook and Youtube
. Those platforms can Correct your spelling
YouTube
five
more exposure to celebrities and the audiences will become Correct your spelling
give
star
symdrom
. Known in 1998, Correct your spelling
syndrome
syndromes
star
sydrom
is the feeling when a person always wants to buy what celebrities own. Cars, Correct your spelling
syndrome
house
, expensive brands Fix the agreement mistake
houses
for
clothes and bags are the things that they Change preposition
of
bought
. Wrong verb form
buy
Those thing
will Change the determiner
That thing
Those things
leads
them to the third factor which is economic Change the verb form
lead
status
.
Buying expensive clothing will make a person feel that they achieved at
certain level of economic Correct your spelling
a
status
. The more expensive the thing, the higher the status
they will believe at
. Those reasons have created some habits that most Change preposition
in
people
do not even realized
.
There are several actions that can make Wrong verb form
realise
people
stay away from those behavior
. Fix the agreement mistake
behaviors
First,
they can save money before spending. Second,
people
can do
Verb problem
make
investment
and see Fix the agreement mistake
investments
onvestment
Correct your spelling
investments
also
part of economic
Correct pronoun usage
their economic
status
. Lastly
, people
can create influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
giving
advice on how to spend and can share more knowledge on investments.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
give
the
factors Correct article usage
apply
such
as personal desires, star
syndrom
, and economic Correct your spelling
syndrome
status
are
crucial roles Verb problem
play
on
influencing Change preposition
in
people
to get into debts
for buying Fix the agreement mistake
debt
unnecessary-expensive
things. Correct your spelling
unnecessary expensive
Therefore
, the solusions
in finance would Correct your spelling
solutions
solution
give
Verb problem
have
big
impact on how Add an article
a big
people
can spend their money on
.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by alyalihan28 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure you fully address all parts of the question and support your ideas with more specific examples. Try to make your points more comprehensive and clearly linked to the main topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving coherence and cohesion by providing clearer transitions between points and ensuring logical flow within paragraphs. This will help make your essay more structured and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay features an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion and make the purpose of the writing clear.
logical structure
You have attempted to structure your points logically, which aids in developing a coherent argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.