Some believe that tax on companies should be introduced to reduce industrial pollution. Others believe that other measures should be taken to solve the problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people have faith in imposing a tax on industrial companies to diminish pollution ,
however
, other individuals consider different ways to tackle the problem.There are merits to taxing factories
such
as increasing the country's GDP
as well as
reducing harmful sources to be produced.
Nonetheless
, the factories should be located outskirts rather than demanding tariffs. In my own opinion levy should be excised. Production should be allocated outside the city as the other measure to solve the problem to reduce health complications that usually come with breathing polluted air,
for
example
, asthma. To add on , ZERA is the gas company in Zimbabwe it moved from the main capital city to locate in remote areas ,
therefore
it reduces the capacity of airborne sickness to the people. The advantage of taxing these industries may
also
lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the government 'GDP which can be used to cater for other institutions' sectors
for
example
, to pay teachers,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
army, and build infrastructure.Moreso, these manufacturing processes may reduce the production of harmful products if the levy is too high.
In addition
,
for
example
, in Rwanda, the country is developing
due to
taxation
as well as
clean and the globalisation ozone layer is not interrupted by the pollutant air thereby ,the season rain is not affected neither agriculture or fishing. In conclusion, other believes that levy companies lessen pollutants
therefore
imposing them, brings increasing in the state's GDP which can be used in other departments .
Moreover
, other human beings enquire about alternatives non other than taxation,
for
example
, relocation of the factories outskirts of the cities. In conclusion, I believe the tax should be levied to reduce the industry pollutants as its advantages outweigh other measures.
Submitted by teterayithelma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, presenting and discussing both views. However, the ideas could be more clearly developed and supported with relevant examples. Consider using more precise examples to illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
While your essay flows reasonably well, there are moments where the structure could be clearer. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and use transition words to improve cohesion.
task achievement
Your main points are present, but they could be better supported with more detailed examples and explanations. Aim to provide a deeper analysis to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction presents both views and states your opinion clearly, which helps set up the reader's expectations effectively.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your argument and reinforces your opinion.
supported main points
The points you make about taxing companies to increase GDP and relocate factories to reduce health issues are relevant and valid.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: