The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, some believe that
employees
need a longer weekend. I do not think that this
is a good idea,
because Remove the comma
apply
although
it can be beneficial for employees
, it can be dangerous for a company's business cycle.
On the one hand, it is believed that if an employee can have a shorter working
Correct the article-noun agreement
a shorter working day
shorter working days
days
, they can have more time to start balancing their work
and personal lives. In fact, workers can spend a lot of time with their family and relatives. Furthermore
, they can also
preserve a healthier life by having enough rest and refresh
their mind from an overwhelming task at Wrong verb form
refreshing
work
. Such
a lifestyle, however
, can be done effectively even during the regular weekend like Saturday and Sunday. Consequently
, it is more
preferable if Correct quantifier usage
apply
employees
can maintain the current trend of a
five-day Correct article usage
apply
work
, in order to make sure that companies always have the resources to generate profits.
Once a company loose
their resources, especially Correct your spelling
loses
their
workers, it can lead to a dramatic decrease in Correct pronoun usage
its
their
revenues. Correct pronoun usage
its
In other words
, there are many things that an employee can do within one working day. If they only work
for four days
, for instance
, it may cause a significant decline in their outcome for the company. For example
, a salesman can sell 10 products every day. If they only work
for 4 working days
, it is likely to reduce 20% of units sold every week compared to the current five workdays. Moreover
, such
a phenomenon can also
reduce their clients' satisfaction, particularly organizations in service
industry, where their customers might need help from a customer service officer or an administration Add an article
the service
officers
for 24 hours every single day.
In conclusion, it is good for Fix the agreement mistake
officer
employees
to have shorter working days
due to
a rise in their work
-life balance lifestyle. However
, I tend to disagree since for companies, it might cause a significant drop in their income and customers' preferences.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic sentence to guide the reader about the main point being discussed.
task achievement
Strengthen the argument in the essay by providing more detailed and specific examples to substantiate your claims.
general
Proofread your essay to spot minor grammatical errors or inconsistencies, such as 'loose' instead of 'lose'.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear argument, providing both the benefits and drawbacks of a shorter working week.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.