The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, some believe that
employees
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need a longer weekend. I do not think that
this
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is a good idea
,
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because
although
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it can be beneficial for
employees
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, it can be dangerous for a company's business cycle. On the one hand, it is believed that if an employee can have
a shorter working
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a shorter working day
shorter working days
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days
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, they can have more time to start balancing their
work
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and personal lives. In fact, workers can spend a lot of time with their family and relatives.
Furthermore
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, they can
also
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preserve a healthier life by having enough rest and
refresh
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refreshing
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their mind from an overwhelming task at
work
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.
Such
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a lifestyle,
however
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, can be done effectively even during the regular weekend like Saturday and Sunday.
Consequently
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, it is
more
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apply
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preferable if
employees
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can maintain the current trend of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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five-day
work
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, in order to make sure that companies always have the resources to generate profits. Once a company
loose
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loses
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their resources, especially
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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workers, it can lead to a dramatic decrease in
their
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its
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revenues.
In other words
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, there are many things that an employee can do within one working day. If they only
work
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for four
days
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,
for instance
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, it may cause a significant decline in their outcome for the company.
For example
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, a salesman can sell 10 products every day. If they only
work
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for 4 working
days
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, it is likely to reduce 20% of units sold every week compared to the current five workdays.
Moreover
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,
such
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a phenomenon can
also
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reduce their clients' satisfaction, particularly organizations in
service
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the service
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industry, where their customers might need help from a customer service officer or an administration
officers
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officer
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for 24 hours every single day. In conclusion, it is good for
employees
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to have shorter working
days
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due to
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a rise in their
work
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-life balance lifestyle.
However
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, I tend to disagree since for companies, it might cause a significant drop in their income and customers' preferences.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic sentence to guide the reader about the main point being discussed.
task achievement
Strengthen the argument in the essay by providing more detailed and specific examples to substantiate your claims.
general
Proofread your essay to spot minor grammatical errors or inconsistencies, such as 'loose' instead of 'lose'.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear argument, providing both the benefits and drawbacks of a shorter working week.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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