Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is an ongoing discussion about
computers
having made life more comfortable by revolutionizing the way we do work. Others on the other hand
argue that computers
made
life more demanding and have a negative effect on our work-life balance. In Wrong verb form
make
this
Essay, I will give my opinion on the matter
I believe computers
are a postive
Correct your spelling
positive
additions
to our lives. Fix the agreement mistake
addition
Firstly
, we have a
much greater access to Remove the article
apply
infromation
on the Correct your spelling
information
internet
, Capitalize word
Internet
this
being available to us instantly. Having this
possibility greatly adds to our productivtiy
, leading to increased work satisfaction and possibly higher pay rates.
Correct your spelling
productivity
Additionally
there is the aspect of ease of communication. The convenience of using Add a comma
Additionally,
Add an article
a computer
the computer
computer
to stay Fix the agreement mistake
computers
into
contact with our friends or relatives, in a cheaper and Change preposition
in
more
easier way, has had an enormous impact on our Change the word
apply
lifes
. We are connected to Correct your spelling
lives
people
globally by email, instant messasing
and social media.
Correct your spelling
messaging
On the other hand
, there are people
arguing that the computer
has many downsides. For
example
the prolonged use of Add a comma
example,
computers
will result in a sedentary lifestyle,
if Remove the comma
apply
this
use is not compensated by a
increase in physical activity in our free time. Change the article
an
This
fact bothers many people
, who say that this
adds an extra burden onto our already stressful lives. Other aspects as well, such
as potential cyber crime
and identity theft Correct your spelling
cybercrime
bothers
many Correct subject-verb agreement
bother
people
, leading to disliking the computer
.
To conclude
, I believe the computer
has added an enormous benefit to our lives. It added to our productivtiy
, increased the ease of communication. There are possible Correct your spelling
productivity
negatives
effects as well, Change the noun form
negative
such
as identity theft or the increase of sedentary lifestyles. Overall
, I think the positive sides outweigh the negative sidesSubmitted by laurens.belgium on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured overall, but there are some areas that could benefit from further development. Ensure your main points are fully developed and clearly linked to examples.
coherence cohesion
You need to correct spelling and grammar issues, such as 'infromation' instead of 'information,' and 'productivtiy' instead of 'productivity.' These small errors can distract the reader and lower your score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases more effectively to make your argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a strong structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which strengthens your discussion and shows good task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.