IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation, Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #reliance #cars
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Over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades,the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use
cars
Use synonyms
 to move in the city has risen substantially.As a matter of fact,more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are purchasing
cars
Use synonyms
 in order to transport
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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in
Change preposition
to
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 other places.
It is clear that
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 subject may cause a considerable number is
problems
Use synonyms
 in urban areas.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will address some difficulties and
also
Linking Words
 I will propose some effective solutions. Let's begin by looking at some
problems
Use synonyms
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 created by using
cars
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of other vehicles.One of the main trouble is the congestion of
traffic
Use synonyms
 in
mega cities
Correct your spelling
megacities
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.
In other words
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
 rely on their private
cars
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,
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 will increase in large regions.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 may stuck in gridlock in rush hours
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they just drive their own
cars
Use synonyms
 rather than using public transportation.
In addition
Linking Words
,another problem is that the rate of air pollution may dramatically rise in capital areas.
That is
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 to say,the more
cars
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
are used
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 in the streets,the more air pollution is produced. Turning to the side of the solutions,the way forward to
this
Linking Words
 issue might be improving public transportation facilities
such
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 as
Correct article usage
the subway
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subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
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,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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,
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 and so on.Clearly,if the government try to introduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social transportation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
people
Use synonyms
 will be encouraged to move by public vehicles.Another solution would be
bring
Fix the infinitive
to bring
show examples
 in new laws like
charge
Replace the word
charging
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 in order to decline driving private
cars
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.In
this
Linking Words
 way,not only will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the usage of
cars
Use synonyms
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
,but
also
Linking Words
 the problem of air pollution will be eradicated.
To conclude
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,the
relience
Correct your spelling
reliance
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
cars
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 may cause various
problems
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.Take
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion as an example.
As a result
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,these
problems
Use synonyms
 will remain unchanged unless the government
be
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
 serious about the solutions.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has clear topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical structure. For instance, start your paragraphs with sentences that capture the main point that will be discussed.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help enhance your task achievement score and make your essay more compelling.
general
Refine grammar and punctuation usage to eliminate small inaccuracies. For instance, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles (e.g., 'a' vs 'the').
general
Avoid repetition of ideas. For example, the essay mentions traffic congestion and air pollution multiple times; instead, introduce new supporting details or expand on existing points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the topic with pertinent points about the problems and solutions regarding over-reliance on cars.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the arguments, and the ideas are fairly well-organized overall.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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