Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#some #people #waste #time #money

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Although

Linking Words

some

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that visiting other countries

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a positive

effacts

Correct your spelling

effects

effect

for

Change preposition

show examples

soul

Correct article usage

the soul

show examples

and body others prefer saving money and time rather than spending

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

on travel.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the

beneficial

Replace the word

benefits

show examples

of having a new experience from other countries in the

world

Use synonyms

and how

traviling

Correct your spelling

travelling

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

the brain and the way people think by learning about other

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the best

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

to discover the

world

Use synonyms

is by travel and

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

new

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

,going to another country like Egypt or India

open

Correct subject-verb agreement

opens

show examples

a new window in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history,

for example

Linking Words

, Egypt has places built a thousand years ago by the slaves who built the pyramids of Giza,

also

Linking Words

there is the

islamic

Change the capitalization

Islamic

show examples

castles and mosques from the golden age of Islam.

Furthermore

Linking Words

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

the historical

places

Add a comma

places,

show examples

visitors can have fun and relax at night

party

Fix the agreement mistake

parties

show examples

which is very popular in Egypt.

However

Linking Words

, individuals should at least travel once in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

to experience and see the past and present of the

world

Use synonyms

and gain a wider vision for the future.

In addition

Linking Words

to the above points, folks can learn about other cultures and their tradition,

beside taste

Change preposition

besides tasting

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

different types of food like Asian dishes or Italian food.

Moreover

Linking Words

, people who

travels

Change the verb form

travel

show examples

a lot

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

an open

minded

Replace the word

mind

show examples

which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

understand

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

world

Use synonyms

and build

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

relationships easily.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of my friends every year goes to a different city in Europe which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

her to learn

Correct article usage

the english

show examples

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

language like a native and have a job in a global company. there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

lots

Change the noun form

lot

show examples

of things can

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

from learning about other nation and their

tradtion

Correct your spelling

tradition

which is worth

to spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

money and time

Rephrase

on.

show examples

In conclusion, I believe

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is the best

Correct your spelling

method

methode

Correct your spelling

method

to enjoy and relax

holidays

Change preposition

on holidays

show examples

and discover the

world

Use synonyms

, which

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

the brain to see

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Change preposition

show examples

other aspects

Submitted by mariaalshrife on Mon Jul 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your essay addresses both views and offers your own opinion, try to provide a more balanced discussion. This means spending a bit more time discussing the perspective that finds travel to be a waste of time and money.

language

There are several grammatical and spelling errors that hinder readability. Pay attention to plural forms, verb tenses, and correct spelling. For example, 'pepole' should be 'people', 'effacts' should be 'effects', and 'traviling' should be 'traveling'.

coherence cohesion

Some of your sentences are lengthy and could be broken down into shorter, clearer sentences. This will improve the readability of your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning Egypt and your friend's experiences. These help illustrate your points well.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately frame the discussion. This helps give the essay a good overall structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

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What are the advantages and disadvantages of supermarkets?

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Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.