Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Although
some pepole
Correct your spelling
people
believed
that visiting other countries Wrong verb form
believe
have
a positive Correct subject-verb agreement
has
effacts
Correct your spelling
effects
effect
for
Change preposition
on
soul
and body others prefer saving money and time rather than spending Correct article usage
the soul
them
on travel.Correct pronoun usage
it
However
, this
essay will discuss the beneficial
of having a new experience from other countries in the Replace the word
benefits
world
and how traviling
Correct your spelling
travelling
change
the brain and the way people think by learning about other Fix the agreement mistake
changes
culture
.
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
Firstly
, one of the best way
to discover the Change to a plural noun
ways
world
is by travel and gain
new Wrong verb form
gaining
experience
,going to another country like Egypt or India Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
open
a new window in Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
the
history, Correct article usage
apply
for example
, Egypt has places built a thousand years ago by the slaves who built the pyramids of Giza,also
there is the islamic
castles and mosques from the golden age of Islam.Change the capitalization
Islamic
Furthermore
,beside
the historical Replace the word
besides
places
visitors can have fun and relax at night Add a comma
places,
party
which is very popular in Egypt.Fix the agreement mistake
parties
However
, individuals should at least travel once in their life
to experience and see the past and present of the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
world
and gain a wider vision for the future.
In addition
to the above points, folks can learn about other cultures and their tradition, beside taste
Change preposition
besides tasting
a
different types of food like Asian dishes or Italian food.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Moreover
, people who travels
a lot Change the verb form
travel
has
an open Correct subject-verb agreement
have
minded
which Replace the word
mind
help
them to Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
more
understand Correct quantifier usage
apply
about
the Change preposition
apply
world
and build a
relationships easily.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
For instance
, one of my friends every year goes to a different city in Europe which help
her to learn Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Correct article usage
the english
english
language like a native and have a job in a global company. there Change the capitalization
English
is
a Correct subject-verb agreement
are
lots
of things can Change the noun form
lot
gets
from learning about other nation and their Change the verb form
get
tradtion
which is worth Correct your spelling
tradition
to spend
money and timeChange the verb form
spending
.
In conclusion, I believe Rephrase
on.
traveling
is the best Change the spelling
travelling
Correct your spelling
method
methode
to enjoy and relax Correct your spelling
method
holidays
and discover the Change preposition
on holidays
world
, which allow
the brain to see Change the verb form
allows
the
life Correct article usage
apply
by
other aspectsChange preposition
in
Submitted by mariaalshrife on
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and offers your own opinion, try to provide a more balanced discussion. This means spending a bit more time discussing the perspective that finds travel to be a waste of time and money.
language
There are several grammatical and spelling errors that hinder readability. Pay attention to plural forms, verb tenses, and correct spelling. For example, 'pepole' should be 'people', 'effacts' should be 'effects', and 'traviling' should be 'traveling'.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are lengthy and could be broken down into shorter, clearer sentences. This will improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning Egypt and your friend's experiences. These help illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately frame the discussion. This helps give the essay a good overall structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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