Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although
some
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that visiting other countries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a positive
effacts
Correct your spelling
effects
effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
soul
Correct article usage
the soul
show examples
and body others prefer saving money and time rather than spending
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
on travel.
However
,
this
essay will discuss the
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
of having a new experience from other countries in the
world
and how
traviling
Correct your spelling
travelling
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
the brain and the way people think by learning about other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Firstly
, one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to discover the
world
is by travel and
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
,going to another country like Egypt or India
open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
show examples
a new window in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history,
for example
, Egypt has places built a thousand years ago by the slaves who built the pyramids of Giza,
also
there is the
islamic
Change the capitalization
Islamic
show examples
castles and mosques from the golden age of Islam.
Furthermore
,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
the historical
places
Add a comma
places,
show examples
visitors can have fun and relax at night
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
which is very popular in Egypt.
However
, individuals should at least travel once in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to experience and see the past and present of the
world
and gain a wider vision for the future.
In addition
to the above points, folks can learn about other cultures and their tradition,
beside taste
Change preposition
besides tasting
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different types of food like Asian dishes or Italian food.
Moreover
, people who
travels
Change the verb form
travel
show examples
a lot
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
an open
minded
Replace the word
mind
show examples
which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
world
and build
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
relationships easily.
For instance
, one of my friends every year goes to a different city in Europe which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
her to learn
Correct article usage
the english
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
language like a native and have a job in a global company. there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a
lots
Change the noun form
lot
show examples
of things can
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
from learning about other nation and their
tradtion
Correct your spelling
tradition
which is worth
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money and time
.
Rephrase
on.
show examples
In conclusion, I believe
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
is the best
Correct your spelling
method
methode
Correct your spelling
method
to enjoy and relax
holidays
Change preposition
on holidays
show examples
and discover the
world
, which
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
the brain to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
other aspects
Submitted by mariaalshrife on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and offers your own opinion, try to provide a more balanced discussion. This means spending a bit more time discussing the perspective that finds travel to be a waste of time and money.
language
There are several grammatical and spelling errors that hinder readability. Pay attention to plural forms, verb tenses, and correct spelling. For example, 'pepole' should be 'people', 'effacts' should be 'effects', and 'traviling' should be 'traveling'.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are lengthy and could be broken down into shorter, clearer sentences. This will improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning Egypt and your friend's experiences. These help illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately frame the discussion. This helps give the essay a good overall structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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