Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In our days,
people
tend to rely on alternative
medicine instead
of concealing their doctor. From where I see it, people
should not put their health on
risk and go to real doctors for Change preposition
at
advise
. The advantages and disadvantages of Replace the word
advice
this
behave
will Replace the word
behaviour
be analyse
in Change the verb form
be analysed
this
easy
.
First of all, following Correct your spelling
essay
a non approved medical treatments
might cost you your Correct the article-noun agreement
non approved medical treatments
a non approved medical treatment
well - being
, actually , if someone Correct your spelling
well-being
asked
for help from a Wrong verb form
asks
person
who do
not have enough knowledge and experience . Change the verb form
does
For example
, if a person
suffering from back pain went to get a massage in a non qualified
place their Add a hyphen
non-qualified
condesion
will probably get Correct your spelling
condition
worst
. To add on that, using creams without Correct word choice
worse
Correct article usage
a doctor
doctor
prescription might give you a rash. Change noun form
doctor's
To sum up
, alternative
medicine is not totally supported by scientific evidence.
On the other hand
, some people
trust in
Change preposition
apply
alternative
medicine because of some believes
or the cost of a professional treatment . To add more, Replace the word
beliefs
people
with health problems do not preafer
taking pills or keep going to Correct your spelling
prefer
doctors
appointments and spending Money. Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
Thats
because they refuse to enter toxic Correct your spelling
That's
substancel
in their body, Taking pills will cause kidney issues in Correct your spelling
substances
substance
a
long term. Correct article usage
the
Instead
, drinking some herbs or oils is the
safe way for them. Correct article usage
a
Additionally
, The cost of each appointment makes people
feel the
less need for them.
With everything mentioned above, the negatives of replacing real doctors with Correct article usage
apply
alternative
medicines trump the positivities
. From where Replace the word
positives
i
see it , every Change the capitalization
I
person
deserve
a Change the verb form
deserves
garneted
treatment from a trustable Correct your spelling
guaranteed
garnetted
person
.Submitted by aseel on
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your introduction to clearly present your main points. A good introduction should set the stage for what is to come in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph addresses a single clear idea and flows logically from one to the next. Use transitional words and phrases to aid coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion restates the main points discussed and provides a final perspective on the topic, without introducing new information.
task achievement
Support each point with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. For instance, elaborate on how non-approved treatments could worsen the condition and provide data if possible.
task achievement
Clarify the main ideas and make sure each argument is fully developed. Avoid vague statements and be precise in your arguments.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. This will make your essay easier to understand and more professional.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the issue, acknowledging both positives and negatives of alternative medicine.
task achievement
It's good that you have used examples to illustrate your points, such as mentioning back pain and massage therapy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.