Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

The effectiveness of advertising programs is debatable among
people
in the society. Some of them think that
product
publicity
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
gives
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people to
Change preposition
people's
show examples
purchase
things
Change preposition
of things
show examples
.
However
, the others believe
on the contrary
side.
This
essay will give an explanation,
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
offering
products
is
quite
Change the article
quite an
a quite
show examples
effective strategy for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
to
get engagement
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
with
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
. Many netizens think that promotion is a wasteful thing and not important.
People
tend to ignore or skip the programs that come up in their television programs or social media.
For example
, nowadays there are lots of financing loans blasting on
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
. Many
people
skip that offering and they are grumbling on social media because it is quite disturbing for them and unnecessary. Even though
broadcasting
Add an article
the broadcasting
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
seemingly not useful, but actually,
it is
Verb problem
shows
show examples
showing
existence
Add an article
the existence
show examples
of the
products
. Usually,
people
do not care about that promotion, but they do not realize that more often they hear
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
product
, they will unconsciously choose that
product
when they need it.
For example
, “Dulax” is a wall painting
product
that
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of advertising
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
on
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
.
People
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to skip that offering and do not care. But when they
are need
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to buy a wall painting, they will remember that there is a wall painting named “Dulax” and they will buy that. In conclusion, most
people
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think that advertising
products
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
unnecessary. But it works to build
people
's mindsets unconsciously. These are the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why advertising is
such
an effective strategy to make
people
buy some
products
in the market.
Submitted by yxxs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have addressed the task, but there are areas for improvement. Ensure that your arguments are more balanced and address both views more clearly. You have provided examples, which is good, but they could be more specific and varied.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the transitions between the points could be smoother. Try using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. Be careful to avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your argument more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to clarify your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: