A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money
#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to express my views on the current ongoing discussion on whether the investment should be utilized to sponsor sports for local or kids or it should be spent on some singing or dancing concerts. There are numerous teenagers who have talent
but lack financial assistance and are unable to join sports teams besides
their talent
and require support.
However
, paying for the open-air concerts could also
be an excellent plan because this
could motivate and encourage some individuals to show their talent
to local people such
as their unique dance or melodious voice. It certainly leads to the promotion of cultural values along with
a good source of public entertainment.
In my opinion, spending money to sponsor the sports team is better because it could not only help in the promotion of the brand name of the firm but it will also
help those adults who have talent
and are looking for opportunities for their personal growth. Therefore
, they can take the country to new heights to make it feel proud.
Once again, I would like to thank you for making an effort for the welfare of society.
Yours sincerely,
Navneet Kaur.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your letter into more distinct paragraphs, especially separating the benefits of each option into different sections. This would improve the clarity and readability.
task achievement
To achieve a more formal tone, avoid phrases like 'kids' and use 'children' instead. Also, try not to repeat words like 'talent.'
coherence cohesion
The letter includes a clear greeting and closing, making it polite and well-structured.
task achievement
You provided a detailed response, covering both the benefits of sponsoring the sports team and funding the concerts.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite