In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computer the internet and smartphone, more and more people are to starting to work from home. What are advantage and disadvantage of this development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Until
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
century, the majority of people used to travel to their
place
of
work
. In present days, slightly increased remote
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
via they use
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
.
This
essay will touch on the benefits and drawbacks of remote
jobs
. On the one hand, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of positive impacts on
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
remote
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
via the internet basically IT specialists
work
from home and they can gain
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
income because the most of
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
relevant
Add a missing verb
are relevant
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
computers
such
as
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
,
cyber
Correct word choice
and cyber
show examples
security.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
have some privileges employers can choose
place
Add an article
the place
a place
show examples
. Wherever they want the employers really bored to
work
same places. They
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
to
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
place
If employers
work
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
jobs
. They can easily
replace
Wrong verb form
be replaced
show examples
with a new
place
.
For instance
, they
work
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
own homes, hotels, or coffee shops
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
The companies
Correct article usage
Companies
show examples
prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
jobs
.
As a result
the companies really get less expenditures for
office
taxes something like issues. Foremost the employees have
also
flexible schedule. In order to, they have not strict about the time table. The remote
workers
Add a verb
workers are
workers were
show examples
more independent than the
office
workers
. The
office
workers
work
to
under
Add a missing verb
be under
show examples
control by the bosses and
therefore
the
office
workers
most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
feel tension. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, the
office
workers
more sociable than the remote
workers
. The reason is that the
office
workers
usually interact
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other people and generally they
work
as part of a team. The remote
workers
basically feel
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lonely. In conclusion, It can be seen that
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
world
sky rocket
Correct your spelling
skyrocket
show examples
remote
jobs
.
However
, we must keep each other
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
show examples
and sometimes we should
work
together.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction. This helps in giving a clear direction to your essay and outlines what the reader can expect.
task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This helps in making your arguments more convincing and concrete.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive structures and vocabulary. Varying your sentence structures and word choices can make your essay more engaging and help convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of remote work, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion. This is important for giving your essay a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: