In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city" is an ongoing debate.In my point of view,both of the given situations have their advantages and disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In certain nations, young adults study in institutions that allow them to stay with their loved ones
while
Linking Words
in other parts of the world, youngsters travel away from home to attend Universities.
This
Linking Words
essay discusses the reasons why I think residing in places far from home has more merits than demerits. The biggest advantage of living away from family members is that it creates a means for personal growth. Parents have a tendency to be overprotective in most situations,
hence
Linking Words
, would always try their best to shield their offspring from life hurdles which could be beneficial.
For instance
Linking Words
, in developed nations, children over the age of 18 years old are encouraged to move out and
this
Linking Words
helps these youngsters to grow into responsible citizens. Another positive outcome of schooling in a different city is that it allows one to start anew. In places where there are no past relationships, students have the ability to escape their past, which might include toxic family members. To illustrate, in third world countries, a higher percentage of youngsters attend college in another city to escape family members who only want to use them as a means of generating income. Notwithstanding, there are downsides to
this
Linking Words
, one of which is a lack of emotional support. The family is a system by which human beings can draw strength to continue when life becomes tough because they are the closest and have a higher tendency to relate.
For example
Linking Words
, in Nigeria, medical students get really exhausted during exam periods and some do poorly,
however
Linking Words
, the rate at which those who live away from home drop out is higher than those who live with loved ones. In conclusion, I believe that taking an accommodation away from
ones
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
family has a lot of advantages, two of these are that it fosters personal growth and serves as a medium of starting afresh which surpasses lack of emotional support as I believe that support group does not have to include one's family.
Submitted by favourade234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
Double-check grammar and syntax to ensure clarity and avoid minor errors that can distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to link ideas explicitly between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Use transitional phrases to connect your points smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure to balance your essay by discussing both sides of the argument equally, providing specific examples for both to support your statements.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples were provided to support the main points, making your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Good balance between analysing the advantages and disadvantages, showing a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with logical paragraphs, each covering a distinct point, enhancing readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: