The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.
The bar chart Illustrates the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans
at the end
of next year.
Overall
it is evident that
jack
Capitalize word
Jack
show examples
and
jones
Capitalize word
Jones
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
in all months
while
mango was
flactua
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
in
this
year .
Firstly
the December the products increased demonstrated upward
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
1000
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pairs
whereas
February
Change preposition
in February
show examples
declined
prouduct
Correct your spelling
product
so of mango
precantage
Correct your spelling
decreased
less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
100% . On one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
jack
Capitalize word
Jack
show examples
and
jones
Capitalize word
Jones
show examples
rose less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
for
projected
Correct article usage
the projected
show examples
market share . Be side mango product annually approximately fifth. It can be
see
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
that in two months September and October average
prouduct
Correct your spelling
product
annually
it's
Verb problem
was
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
no change in
both
Correct determiner usage
either
show examples
of
fruits
Correct article usage
the fruits
show examples
. On the other
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
hands
Add a comma
hands,
show examples
others
fruits
Verb problem
produce
show examples
huge
average
Fix the agreement mistake
averages
show examples
of products in projected markets
share
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
large majority .
Submitted by almeem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • estimated sales
  • projected market share
  • dominant player
  • competition
  • consumer choice
  • pricing strategies
  • market trends
  • marketing campaigns
  • economic conditions
  • fashion trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: