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Band 5

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. :small_orange_diamond:Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #leaders #leadership #skills #small_orange_diamond
In recent years, some
people
 have been discussing whether individuals have a reason to study
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in order to travel or work in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
 or not, with
people
 believing that they do not have only
reasons
. In
this
 essay, I will debate and explain my opinion about
this
 topic. On the one hand, there are beneficial things in
carreres
Correct your spelling
careers
carries
 and trips for two
reasons
.
Firstly
, learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
is provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 the chance to experience several things,
such
 as another culture,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
 new friends.
As a result
, they can connect easily to foreigners.
Secondly
, speaking multilingual helps many
people
 who look for jobs, which makes it easy to get jobs
due to
this
 reason.
Furthermore
, if the situation of their own
country
's job market is not good,
this
 option helps them to work in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
.
For instance
,
according to
 a recent survey, employees who speak bilingual have a variety of opportunities to get jobs since most companies prefer employees who speak foreign languages.
On the other hand
, many
people
 who learning a foreign
language
 might have families who speak
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
, which makes them learn more than bilingual because they realise how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 communication is important by their families.
As a result
, they learn new foreign languages and understand foreign cultures that are different from their own
country
.
For example
, research has shown that
this
 reason accounts for 40 per cent of all
reasons
 for learning a foreign
language
. In my opinion,
while
 it is undeniable that speaking a foreign
language
 is one of the
reasons
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and working in a foreign
country
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe that there are not only these
reasons
.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly paraphrase the essay prompt in your introduction to directly show you are addressing the task. For example, clearly state the two views about learning a foreign language for travel or work versus other reasons.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop more consistent and clearer topic sentences for your body paragraphs to improve the main idea presentation. Each paragraph should clearly focus on one main point.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to minimize errors. Also, be careful with word choice and phrasing to increase readability.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for clear essay structure.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and you have managed to express your opinions on the topic effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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