Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime level?

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Over the
last
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few years, increasing
crime
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for
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among
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young people has become one of the major
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problem
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problems
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is
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apply
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that people should pay attention
.
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to.
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While
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parents spend less
time
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with their children and social networks and mobile games are claimed to be the main reasons behind
this
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issue
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, there are some effective
solutions
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that can be applied. In
this
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essay, I will discuss major reasons and effective
solutions
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of
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to
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this
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problem
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. On the one hand, there are several factors behind the
issue
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of
climbing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
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teenagers'
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teenage'
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crime
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. The first driving force behind
this
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reason is that parents have less
time
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for their children.
For instance
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, many families are double income.
This
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is because their children spend a lot of
time
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alone or on the road. So they are given
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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for
crime
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. Another important reason
of
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for
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this
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issue
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can be
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is
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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using social networks and mobile games.
That is
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because many
teenagers
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have their own mobile
phone
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phones
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. They can watch videos or photos, read articles or play games about
crime
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by
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on
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their phone.
That is
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why their disposition can go up to
crime
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some reliable
solutions
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behind
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to
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the
issue
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of
climbing
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
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teenagers
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teenage
show examples
crime
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. The first viable solution to
this
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problem
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is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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developing
commuty
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community
policing.
For example
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, if
control
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the control
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of
police
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the police
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is well, and punishment is bound, it is effective for young
peoples'
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people's
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crime
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. Another significant way by which
this
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problem
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can be tackled is that young people should
busy
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be busy
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with study or work. The reason for
this
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that
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is that
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when a person is
employment
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employed
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, he has no
time
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for
crime
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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teenagers
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'
crime
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is
serious
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a serious
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problem
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that
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
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many negative effects, it can be addressed with the
solutions
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that have been mentioned above.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses reasons and solutions for the increase in youth crime. However, it could benefit from further elaboration on your points to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your arguments are logically structured. Some sentences are a bit unclear and could be phrased better to improve coherence.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and help to clarify your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both causes and solutions for the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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