Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime level?

Over the
last
few years, increasing
crime
for
Change preposition
among
show examples
young people has become one of the major
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that people should pay attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
While
parents spend less
time
with their children and social networks and mobile games are claimed to be the main reasons behind
this
issue
, there are some effective
solutions
that can be applied. In
this
essay, I will discuss major reasons and effective
solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. On the one hand, there are several factors behind the
issue
of
climbing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teenagers'
Replace the word
teenage'
show examples
crime
. The first driving force behind
this
reason is that parents have less
time
for their children.
For instance
, many families are double income.
This
is because their children spend a lot of
time
alone or on the road. So they are given
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
for
crime
. Another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
issue
can be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
using social networks and mobile games.
That is
because many
teenagers
have their own mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. They can watch videos or photos, read articles or play games about
crime
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their phone.
That is
why their disposition can go up to
crime
.
On the other hand
, there are some reliable
solutions
behind
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
issue
of
climbing
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
crime
. The first viable solution to
this
problem
is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
developing
commuty
Correct your spelling
community
policing.
For example
, if
control
Correct article usage
the control
show examples
of
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
is well, and punishment is bound, it is effective for young
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
crime
. Another significant way by which
this
problem
can be tackled is that young people should
busy
Add a missing verb
be busy
show examples
with study or work. The reason for
this
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
when a person is
employment
Replace the word
employed
show examples
, he has no
time
for
crime
.
To conclude
,
although
teenagers
'
crime
is
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
problem
that
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
many negative effects, it can be addressed with the
solutions
that have been mentioned above.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses reasons and solutions for the increase in youth crime. However, it could benefit from further elaboration on your points to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your arguments are logically structured. Some sentences are a bit unclear and could be phrased better to improve coherence.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and help to clarify your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both causes and solutions for the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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