Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Owing to the problem
which
Change preposition
of which
show examples
governments should spend
numerous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
money on
sports
facilities
for
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
athletes
,
while
others think that the funds should
giving
Wrong verb form
be given
show examples
to non-
athletes
in order to help them develop
thier
Correct your spelling
their
skills in
sports
. In
this
essay, I will explain clearly on both sides and I will certainly give my personal perspectives.
Firstly
, in terms of making the greatest humans in
sports
, authorities have
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
more funds to completely build
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full access devices in the
facilities
to help them to enhance their skills, in case to prepare the competitions in the future. Presumably, it is
brilliant
Correct article usage
a brilliant
show examples
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
from the government because each person can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
show examples
on their preparation and worry less.
Furthermore
, the best
facilities
can help
athletes
to save their money to perhaps go abroad to obtain different experiences from some
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
in other countries.
On the other hand
, many communities believe that making special places for just
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to inappropriate behaviour for some ideas because it would
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a gap between
athletes
and non-
athletes
, where ordinary humans cannot utilise the
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. In
this
case, creating two different buildings is a
preferably
Change the adverb
preferable
show examples
option to reduce the tendency of emotional stress from the regimes on spending money for
sports
facilities
. One building is for
athletes
, and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
is for non-organisations, that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be better for both parties because teams can
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
on their exercises
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy the
sports
devices in the buildings. In conclusion, some people consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
steps for physical
exercises
Change the noun form
exercise
show examples
facilities
between people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not
athletes
and the greatest
athletes
.
However
, making two
separately
Change the word
separate
show examples
facilities
can be perfect for initial movements, which can help both of them confidence to play
sports
.
Submitted by wulandarianggieta on

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task achievement
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement that outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, instead of saying 'governments should spend numerous money', specify what kinds of facilities or equipment could be provided.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Small grammatical errors and vocabulary misuse can distract from your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are broad and cover different aspects of the topic, ensuring a comprehensive take on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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