Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Owing to the problem
which
Change preposition
of which
show examples
governments should spend
numerous
Correct word choice
apply
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money on
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
for
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
athletes
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,
while
Linking Words
others think that the funds should
giving
Wrong verb form
be given
show examples
to non-
athletes
Use synonyms
in order to help them develop
thier
Correct your spelling
their
skills in
sports
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain clearly on both sides and I will certainly give my personal perspectives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in terms of making the greatest humans in
sports
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, authorities have
spend
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spent
show examples
more funds to completely build
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full access devices in the
facilities
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to help them to enhance their skills, in case to prepare the competitions in the future. Presumably, it is
brilliant
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a brilliant
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ideas
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idea
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from the government because each person can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
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on their preparation and worry less.
Furthermore
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, the best
facilities
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can help
athletes
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to save their money to perhaps go abroad to obtain different experiences from some
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
in other countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many communities believe that making special places for just
top
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the top
show examples
olympics
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Olympics
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lead
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leads
show examples
to inappropriate behaviour for some ideas because it would
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a gap between
athletes
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and non-
athletes
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, where ordinary humans cannot utilise the
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. In
this
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case, creating two different buildings is a
preferably
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preferable
show examples
option to reduce the tendency of emotional stress from the regimes on spending money for
sports
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facilities
Use synonyms
. One building is for
athletes
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, and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
is for non-organisations, that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be better for both parties because teams can
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
on their exercises
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
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enjoy the
sports
Use synonyms
devices in the buildings. In conclusion, some people consider
about
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apply
show examples
the
government
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government's
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steps for physical
exercises
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exercise
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
between people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not
athletes
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and the greatest
athletes
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.
However
Linking Words
, making two
separately
Change the word
separate
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
can be perfect for initial movements, which can help both of them confidence to play
sports
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wulandarianggieta on

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task achievement
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement that outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, instead of saying 'governments should spend numerous money', specify what kinds of facilities or equipment could be provided.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Small grammatical errors and vocabulary misuse can distract from your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are broad and cover different aspects of the topic, ensuring a comprehensive take on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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