Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Owing to the problem
which
governments should spend Change preposition
of which
numerous
money on Correct word choice
apply
sports
facilities
for best
Correct article usage
the best
athletes
, while
others think that the funds should giving
to non-Wrong verb form
be given
athletes
in order to help them develop thier
skills in Correct your spelling
their
sports
. In this
essay, I will explain clearly on both sides and I will certainly give my personal perspectives.
Firstly
, in terms of making the greatest humans in sports
, authorities have spend
more funds to completely build Change the verb form
spent
of
Change preposition
apply
the
full access devices in the Correct article usage
apply
facilities
to help them to enhance their skills, in case to prepare the competitions in the future. Presumably, it is brilliant
Correct article usage
a brilliant
ideas
from the government because each person can Fix the agreement mistake
idea
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
concentration
on their preparation and worry less. Replace the word
concentrate
Furthermore
, the best facilities
can help athletes
to save their money to perhaps go abroad to obtain different experiences from some equipments
in other countries.
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
On the other hand
, many communities believe that making special places for just top
Correct article usage
the top
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
lead
to inappropriate behaviour for some ideas because it would Change the verb form
leads
make
a gap between Verb problem
create
athletes
and non-athletes
, where ordinary humans cannot utilise the equipments
. In Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
this
case, creating two different buildings is a preferably
option to reduce the tendency of emotional stress from the regimes on spending money for Change the adverb
preferable
sports
facilities
. One building is for athletes
, and other
is for non-organisations, that Correct article usage
the other
it
would be better for both parties because teams can Correct pronoun usage
apply
focuse
on their exercises Correct your spelling
focus
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
also
can
enjoy the Verb problem
apply
sports
devices in the buildings.
In conclusion, some people consider about
the Change preposition
apply
government
steps for physical Change noun form
government's
exercises
Change the noun form
exercise
facilities
between people who is
not Correct subject-verb agreement
are
athletes
and the greatest athletes
. However
, making two separately
Change the word
separate
facilities
can be perfect for initial movements, which can help both of them confidence to play sports
.Submitted by wulandarianggieta on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement that outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your points. For instance, instead of saying 'governments should spend numerous money', specify what kinds of facilities or equipment could be provided.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Small grammatical errors and vocabulary misuse can distract from your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are broad and cover different aspects of the topic, ensuring a comprehensive take on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!