the best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the need
of decreasing
poverty in flourishing Change preposition
to decrease
countries
by making
six years of free education has gained significant attention. From my viewpoint, I consider myself an advocate of Verb problem
providing
this
idea.
First of all, it is obvious to note that cutting the cost of schooling may be effective for families
in a wealth of countries
, especially the developing ones. The key argument is that in those countries
, there are a myriad of families
that can not afford their children to go to school due to
their tight budget or their background so letting them go to institutions without worrying about any requirement of expenditure can release their pressure. For instance
, substantial families
in Vietnam having difficult circumstances have been provided a free-educational
Correct your spelling
educational
expense
by the government so they can use their money for other purposes. Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
Hence
, giving some years of free tuition fee
is a good method to diminish poverty.
To assert more credence to my assertion, there are good reasons to say that having some basic skills Fix the agreement mistake
fees
such
as reading, writing or using numbers from school may thrive
the Verb problem
improve
quality
of workers in the nations. Chief of this
is that currently, people just need some skills like that so they can find a job, work and make money. From that, the quality
of workers will increase and there will be less
poor Correct quantifier usage
fewer
families
. To be specific, almost all the
jobs nowadays need reading or using number ability so if people do not study, they will have no knowledge about them and they can not work, which may decrease the working Correct article usage
apply
quality
and the economy of the country. Thus
, to develop countries
, the government should cut back the tuition fee
for all citizens.
In Fix the agreement mistake
fees
my
conclusion, giving free educational expenditure is the greatest Correct pronoun usage
apply
mean
to decrease poverty in developing Fix the agreement mistake
means
countries
since it not just
Rephrase
only
gets
Verb problem
puts
the
pressure Correct article usage
apply
out of
poor Change preposition
on
families
but also
increases the quality
of workers.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
While your essay effectively addresses the question and provides a solid argument in favor of free education to combat poverty, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, refine your introduction to clearly state your stance on the issue. Phrases such as 'I consider myself an advocate of this idea' could be more explicitly connected to the topic. Secondly, ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and avoids redundancy. For instance, the idea about improving worker quality could be tied more directly to poverty reduction.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from more varied transition words and clearer topic sentences. Statements like 'First of all' and 'To assert more credence to my assertion' could be replaced with more sophisticated connectors. Additionally, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to be discussed. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear effort to address the prompt and provide substantial reasons supporting your viewpoint. It is commendable that you supported your arguments with relevant examples like the case of Vietnam, which helps to ground your points in real-world context.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with clear paragraphs and maintained a logical flow from one idea to the next. The separation of points into different paragraphs contributes to the overall readability.