IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the need
of decreasing
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to decrease
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 poverty in flourishing
countries
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 by
making
Verb problem
providing
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 six years of free education has gained significant attention. From my viewpoint, I consider myself an advocate of
this
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 idea. First of all, it is obvious to note that cutting the cost of schooling may be effective for
families
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 in a wealth of
countries
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, especially the developing ones. The key argument is that in those
countries
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, there are a myriad of
families
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 that can not afford their children to go to school
due to
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 their tight budget or their background so letting them go to institutions without worrying about any requirement of expenditure can release their pressure.
For instance
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, substantial
families
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 in Vietnam having difficult circumstances have been provided a
free-educational
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educational
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expense
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expenses
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 by the government so they can use their money for other purposes.
Hence
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, giving some years of free tuition
fee
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fees
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 is a good method to diminish poverty. To assert more credence to my assertion, there are good reasons to say that having some basic skills
such
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 as reading, writing or using numbers from school may
thrive
Verb problem
improve
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 the
quality
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 of workers in the nations. Chief of
this
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 is that currently, people just need some skills like that so they can find a job, work and make money. From that, the
quality
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 of workers will increase and there will be
less
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fewer
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 poor
families
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. To be specific, almost all
the
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apply
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jobs nowadays need reading or using number ability so if people do not study, they will have no knowledge about them and they can not work, which may decrease the working
quality
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 and the economy of the country.
Thus
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, to develop
countries
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, the government should cut back the tuition
fee
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fees
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 for all citizens. In
my
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apply
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conclusion, giving free educational expenditure is the greatest
mean
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means
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 to decrease poverty in developing
countries
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 since it not
just
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only
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gets
Verb problem
puts
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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pressure
out of
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on
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 poor
families
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 but
also
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 increases the
quality
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 of workers.

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task achievement
While your essay effectively addresses the question and provides a solid argument in favor of free education to combat poverty, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, refine your introduction to clearly state your stance on the issue. Phrases such as 'I consider myself an advocate of this idea' could be more explicitly connected to the topic. Secondly, ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and avoids redundancy. For instance, the idea about improving worker quality could be tied more directly to poverty reduction.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from more varied transition words and clearer topic sentences. Statements like 'First of all' and 'To assert more credence to my assertion' could be replaced with more sophisticated connectors. Additionally, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to be discussed. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear effort to address the prompt and provide substantial reasons supporting your viewpoint. It is commendable that you supported your arguments with relevant examples like the case of Vietnam, which helps to ground your points in real-world context.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with clear paragraphs and maintained a logical flow from one idea to the next. The separation of points into different paragraphs contributes to the overall readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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