Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Lessons

school

can provide children with valuable insights into being good members of society. In class, students can receive

lessons

about

different

Correct article usage

the different

show examples

traits of a truly good person that society needs, and

then

they put what they learn into practice by creating real-life problems and solving them together.

For instance

, after receiving

lessons

in civic education at

school

, many Vietnamese students are more willing to help their

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

and even strangers, and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others.

For

this

reason, I believe that

school

lessons

are more influential to young children. In conclusion, despite the practical experiences that parents can give their children at home,

this

essay believes that

school

lessons

can help students deepen their understanding of being good members of society.

Submitted by akashjoseph88 on Wed Jul 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding an introduction to the essay to clearly set the context and purpose. This helps the reader understand the topic from the start.

task achievement

Expand on the explanation of how school lessons influence children’s behavior. Providing more detailed examples or elaborating on the process can make your points stronger.

task achievement

Ensure to discuss both views as per the essay prompt before providing your own opinion. This balances the response and addresses the task requirements fully.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise conclusion which reiterates the main argument.

task achievement

The example of Vietnamese students is specific and relevant, making the point more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

129 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
To solve the problem of environmental pollution we need to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is an opinion in the society that increasing the cost of fuel can solve the environmental issues. I partly agree with this idea due to the fact I believe that this tactic can help mitigate the impact on the environment, but there may be other ways to do this. In this essay, I plan to explore a few thoughts of mine about this phenomenon.
4.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Nowadays, It can be seen that some societies all around the world, have faced cultural erosion. I assume that some concepts namely the global village and new global trends contribute to this phenomenon and both governments and individuals have to preserve their culture by supporting it in some ways.
5
band
Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
Social media is the talk to the decade, which points out two opinion one describes opportunities in multiple business & bringing people closer and the other shows harmful aspects of it. To describe the issue in hand I would like to present advantages and disadvantages of social media.
5
band
Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?
In the 20th century, usage of the electronic devices has been increased drastically. People who are born and brought up in the previous generation had grown up playing the traditional games of their locality and they naturally had the habit of socializing with others because they did not grow up watching TV or playing with any other electronic devices. But kids in this generation are growing up depending on the gadgets.
7
band
In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?
In the modern era, more graduated students tend to have a gap year before starting their courses in universities. Not only might there be a positive aspect of having an extra year before having a major studying such as gaining experience of working and travelling overseas but an expected demerit also can be led from it.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

To solve the problem of environmental pollution we need to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?