Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Media
delivers information to the public gradually. Later days the reports of media
is
mainly focused on problems and emergencies that, Change the verb form
are
people
think is
harmful to a society or an individual. In Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
essay, I will point out some importance and conclude with my decision either
I agree or disagree with the question.
Correct word choice
whether
Firstly
, the media
is often broadcasting problems happening in the world. Because the media
is the only way of communication that delivers news to all age groups including children
. In some places, children
are forced to watch the media
which televice
negative things that are not for Correct your spelling
televises
children
. For instance
, YouTube has become popular in the modern world and most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
have access to it that
anything can be seen by searching it.
Correct word choice
so
Secondly
, delivering of
the emergency news Change preposition
apply
maybe
helpful for the Correct your spelling
may be
people
at some places that will help them to take a
precautions before the danger. It newspaper Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
media
will definetly
be helpful for Correct your spelling
definitely
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who has
no electrical communication. Change the verb form
have
For instance
, if there will be
a tsunami coming in Wrong verb form
is
couple
of days that was Add an article
a couple
being
announced by Unnecessary verb
apply
weather
forecaster, the Add an article
a weather
media
will be the only communication that will take this
information to the
Correct article usage
apply
people
all over the world.
In conclusion, On one
Correct article usage
the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
media
is harmful because it is focusing
on Wrong verb form
focuses
the
problems which Correct article usage
apply
is
not appropriate for everyone. Change the verb form
are
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
Media
is helpful for people
who gets
aware of Verb problem
are
the
emergencies before Correct article usage
apply
the
serious incident happens. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, I Disagree that media
is harmful to public
because parents can protect Correct article usage
the public
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
from watching bad content, but emergency information can't be delivered quickly without the help of media
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task response
Ensure that the task is fully addressed by delving deeper into both sides of the argument. Although you've mentioned both points, the essay would benefit from more development, especially in the body paragraphs. More specific examples and statistical data could help bolster your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothing the transition between ideas for better coherence. Some parts of your essay jump from one point to another, which can confuse the reader. Using transitional phrases and sentences can help connect your thoughts more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on grammar and spelling. There were several small mistakes ('televice' instead of 'telecast', 'definetly' instead of 'definitely', etc.) that can detract from the readability of your essay. Proofreading and using more sophisticated vocabulary can enhance your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good frame for your essay. They help set and wrap up your argument succinctly.
task response
The use of examples, like the mention of YouTube and tsunamis, makes your essay more relatable and concrete for the reader.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite