We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, the tech revolution has made the
internet
a double-edged sword. Some users
see it as an intrusive tool for their privacy
, while
others contend its' benefits exceed those personal issues. I think that the internet
has served humanity in many good ways, although
it has some drawbacks. In this
essay, I will rely on some studies and personal experiences to highlight the benefits of the Internet
.
Firstly
, the internet
has helped us in all parts of our lives, such
as education, medicine, socialisation, employment, travel, communication, and many other fields. This
variety has led humanity to a better quality of life and made our lives much easier. In addition
to this
, a statistical study conducted at Oxford University on 300 individuals who depend on the Internet
for only 50% of their activities revealed that 229 of them have improved their life quality by 70%.
Furthermore
, technology nowadays has developed to a level where all users
can control their privacy
options. All virtual platforms, including social media, educational, entertaining, and financial platforms have given their users
total authority over their privacy
and security permissions, so users
can control and be responsible for what others can reach of their own content. For instance
, two years ago, when my mother downloaded the Facebook app on her phone, she came to me and said, Why are there strange people interacting in my profile and on my posts? When I checked on her privacy
settings, I found out that she made her account a public one, so I changed it to a private one and controlled who was allowed to see her posts, interact with them, and even who can send her a friend request.
To conclude
, I would like to state that the internet
can be either dangerous or beneficial, it's the way we use it that decides how it will impact our lives and how much it can penetrate our privacy
. But in general, such
a tool is definitely one of the most significant inventions humanity has made.Submitted by wathiq.online22 on
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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet in an equal manner. This will ensure a more complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
Try to develop your points in more detail. For example, you could explain more specifically how the internet improves quality of life in various fields.
coherence cohesion
Organize your main points more logically. For example, discuss the benefits in one paragraph and then the control and security issues in another. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your transitions between ideas are clear and smooth. Linking words and phrases can help in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your main argument, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
task achievement
You provide a strong personal anecdote to support your argument about privacy control, which makes your essay engaging and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your thesis, bringing a cohesive end to your essay.