in education and employment, some people work harder than others. why do some people work harder? is it always a good thing to work harder?

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In school and work
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
some individual tend to
sacrifices
Wrong verb form
sacrifice
show examples
all their energy and time more than others. Both questions will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay . First of all, there are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why someone works hard ,
however
Linking Words
, some people are working hard seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better
life
Use synonyms
quality , meaning they need to secure everything they need or might need in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, a father will be working late hours and give up on his free time just to secure the best schools for his children .
This
Linking Words
gives them a
sance
Correct your spelling
sense
of
self- satisfaction
Correct your spelling
self-satisfaction
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and allows them to gain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reputation and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better social class In society . Moving to the next question , working hard is not always a good thing, depending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
how hard you work . Take money
for example
Linking Words
, we live in a world where money is needed for everything
such
Linking Words
as education and health care . Working hard gives you the chance to have a
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
job with a good
pay-check
Correct your spelling
pay check
show examples
. As for the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
trend , working hard could
cost
Verb problem
cause
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you
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mental health issues leading to
overthinking
Correct article usage
an overthinking
show examples
loop and sleeping problems , a person with a full plate will not be able to balance between their personal and working
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, if you are putting all
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
energy into work, you will
be having
Wrong verb form
have
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somethings
Correct your spelling
something
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to
loss
Replace the word
lose
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.
Hopefully
Add a comma
Hopefully,
show examples
people will have more awareness in the
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
show examples
future and balance between personal
life
Use synonyms
and working
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aseel on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay to provide a clear structure for the reader.
task achievement
Work on providing more comprehensive and relevant examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are logically developed throughout the essay to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Double check grammar, punctuation, and word choice to eliminate small errors and improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both questions posed in the prompt, which is good for task response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a closing thought on the topic, which helps wrap up the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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