Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both side and give your opinion?
For
national
economy, the public Add an article
the national
have
divided into two ideas.On Change the verb form
has
other
hand, citizens think that purchasing is the beneficial way, and the rest of them think not purchasing is better than the above one.Correct article usage
the other
This
essay will outline Linking Words
the
both aspects Remove the article
apply
,
and in my Remove the comma
apply
opinion
spending isAdd a comma
opinion,
silghtly
better than the other had mentioned.
Spending can accelerate economic Correct your spelling
slightly
beneficial
. Each industry Replace the word
benefits
connected
to others, from producing to selling related to customers, independent Add a missing verb
is connected
part
of Fix the agreement mistake
parts
a
goods there are made by many people.When we buy a product in a shop, the price Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
which
allocated to each person Correct pronoun usage
apply
made
Verb problem
puts
this
thing in our hands. Linking Words
For instance
, during Linking Words
Correct article usage
the epidemimc
epidemimc
, Correct your spelling
epidemic
epidemics
cause
marketing had Correct word choice
apply
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
Add an article
a slump
slump
, Wrong verb form
slumped
therefore
government printed stimulus Linking Words
voucher
to boost citizens' consumption. Fix the agreement mistake
vouchers
Moreover
, hold Linking Words
the
lottery events monthly which have Correct article usage
apply
a
notably Correct article usage
apply
increasing
to alleviate the Wrong verb form
increased
lose
of Replace the word
loss
covid-19
.
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
Whereas
, saving is Linking Words
also
Linking Words
the
significant to every Change the article
apply
families
.Without Change to a singular noun
family
deposit
to banks, if there is any emergency or accidentCorrect article usage
a deposit
happened
, the fees of medical treatment and the Verb problem
apply
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
need
to be paid will Correct pronoun usage
that need
cause
them Verb problem
put
to
a difficult situation. Change preposition
in
As a result
, they are going to be cash-trappedLinking Words
,
and fall into Remove the comma
apply
the
debt. Correct article usage
apply
Although
it is Linking Words
potival
to have funds prepared for any unexpected incident, people paying for proper needs is Correct your spelling
optimal
political
neccessary
, have well-managed assets is Correct your spelling
necessary
also
can Linking Words
saving
Change the verb form
save
be saving
amount
of money.
Add an article
the amount
an amount
To sum up
, either cost or Linking Words
save is
crucially Wrong verb form
saving
affect
to country's Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
commercial
. But as far as I think, spending is occupying a bigger place in the economy, be a fact that buying makes all Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
empolyees
behind the goods earn money. The money Correct your spelling
employees
which
saved by Correct pronoun usage
apply
personal
can support themselves when they Replace the word
personnel
in
Add a missing verb
are in
needed
.Change the form of the verb
need
Submitted by peihanw5 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence is clear and concise.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on building stronger topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly introduce the main idea.
task achievement
The essay displays a clear understanding of both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are clearly organized with each focusing on a specific point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example