Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both side and give your opinion?

For
national
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the national
show examples
economy, the public
have
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has
show examples
divided into two ideas.On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, citizens think that purchasing is the beneficial way, and the rest of them think not purchasing is better than the above one.
This
essay will outline
the
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apply
show examples
both aspects
,
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apply
show examples
and in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
spending is
silghtly
Correct your spelling
slightly
better than the other had mentioned. Spending can accelerate economic
beneficial
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benefits
show examples
. Each industry
connected
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is connected
show examples
to others, from producing to selling related to customers, independent
part
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parts
show examples
of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
goods there are made by many people.When we buy a product in a shop, the price
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allocated to each person
made
Verb problem
puts
show examples
this
thing in our hands.
For instance
, during
Correct article usage
the epidemimc
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epidemimc
Correct your spelling
epidemic
epidemics
,
cause
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
marketing had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
a slump
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slump
Wrong verb form
slumped
show examples
,
therefore
government printed stimulus
voucher
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vouchers
show examples
to boost citizens' consumption.
Moreover
, hold
the
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apply
show examples
lottery events monthly which have
a
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apply
show examples
notably
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
to alleviate the
lose
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loss
show examples
of
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
.
Whereas
, saving is
also
the
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apply
show examples
significant to every
families
Change to a singular noun
family
show examples
.Without
deposit
Correct article usage
a deposit
show examples
to banks, if there is any emergency or accident
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, the fees of medical treatment and the
bill
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bills
show examples
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
to be paid will
cause
Verb problem
put
show examples
them
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
a difficult situation.
As a result
, they are going to be cash-trapped
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and fall into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debt.
Although
it is
potival
Correct your spelling
optimal
political
to have funds prepared for any unexpected incident, people paying for proper needs is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
, have well-managed assets is
also
can
saving
Change the verb form
save
be saving
show examples
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
of money.
To sum up
, either cost or
save is
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
crucially
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
to country's
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
. But as far as I think, spending is occupying a bigger place in the economy, be a fact that buying makes all
empolyees
Correct your spelling
employees
behind the goods earn money. The money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
saved by
personal
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
can support themselves when they
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
needed
Change the form of the verb
need
show examples
.
Submitted by peihanw5 on

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coherence cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence is clear and concise.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on building stronger topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly introduce the main idea.
task achievement
The essay displays a clear understanding of both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are clearly organized with each focusing on a specific point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • business growth
  • upward economic cycle
  • long-term economic stability
  • sustainable economic growth
  • economic downturns
  • standard of living
  • technological advancements
  • economic resilience
  • social safety nets
  • fiscal stability
  • consumer spending
  • fiscal stability
  • preparedness
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