IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are advised to spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You are advised to spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the pie chart
show
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shows
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 us the
percentage
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 of
household
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energy
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 and green
gas
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 in
Australia
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. The biggest
percentage
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 of
greenhouse
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gas
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 was caused by heating and cooling meanwhile the
household
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energy
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 caused by heating and cooling is 10% lower.
the
Correct article usage
apply
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water heating is the second
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problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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 that
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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greenhouse
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gas
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 and the
household
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energy
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 caused by
the
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apply
show examples
water heating is 23%. now oppositely the
caused
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cause
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 of the refrigeration
problems
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 had a bigger
percentage
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 in
household
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energy
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 than the
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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gas
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 in
Australia
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. the lighting
problems
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 of
household
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energy
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 in
Australia
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 had a bigger
percentage
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 than the produced of green
gas
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house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 in
Australia
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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difference
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 of 4%. and
also
Linking Words
 the
caused
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 of other appliances in
household
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energy
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 had a bigger
percentage
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 than the
greenhouse
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gas
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
difference
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 of 8%. the
caused
Replace the word
cause
show examples
 of the
problems
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 in
household
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energy
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 and
greenhouse
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gas
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 with the
difference
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 of 1% is cooking with
household
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energy
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 has the bigger
percentage
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 there. the smallest
percentage
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 of the 2 main
problems
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 is the
stand by
Add a hyphen
stand-by
show examples
problems
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
difference
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 of 2%.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, household, energy, gas, australia, greenhouse, problems, difference with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average household
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • energy use
  • percentage
  • chart
  • category
  • compare
  • disparity
  • proportion
  • corresponding
  • relative to
  • contribution
  • structured comparison
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