IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe government should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation such as buses , trains and subways Discuss both point of view and give your opinion

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Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 has invested millions in building smooth
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways.
Additionally
Linking Words
. In developing transportation.
However
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that the money should be diverted
in
Change preposition
to
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 improving and enhancing public
transport
Use synonyms
 and vice versa.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss that
both
Use synonyms
 require investments.
To begin
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 with, most of the
people
Use synonyms
 think that the authorities should invest in improving streets,
roads
Use synonyms
 and subways.
Firstly
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, Roadways are majorly used for the
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 of goods and services. To be more specific, tons of materials
such
Linking Words
 as machinery, rocks, raw materials and many more items are transported daily through
roads
Use synonyms
, resulting in
economic
Add an article
the economic
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 growth of the country. Another major reason for the the investment would be to reduce
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
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 of fatal accidents.
Due to
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 potholes, present all over the road , there is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 rise in road accidents. Sometimes,
also
Linking Words
 leads to death fatalities, especially in rainy weather. In fact,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 of
transport
Use synonyms
 has found
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 correlation between potholes and increasing accidents.
On the other hand
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,
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 number use
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use public
transport
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and
subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintenance
show examples
 of these services
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important for the safety of the public. As
people
Use synonyms
 use public
transport
Use synonyms
 there is a gradual decline in private vehicles on
roads
Use synonyms
, leading to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
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 in traffic.
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
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 it
also
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 reduces carbon emissions resulting in minimising the detrimental effects of air pollution.
Additionally
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, public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as trains is not only cheaper but
also
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 convenient. In conclusion,
roads
Use synonyms
 and public transportation
both
Use synonyms
 play a significant part in the
overall
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 development of the country by reducing air pollution ,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
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 and being cheaper. In my opinion,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should manage the budget and invest in
both
Use synonyms
 as it will help
both
Use synonyms
 the public and the country as a whole.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states both views and your own opinion. This will make the essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Try to further develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations to provide a stronger task response.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with your vocabulary and sentence structures. Vary your sentence forms to improve readability and engagement.
task achievement
Good job on clearly discussing both points of view and presenting a balanced conclusion. This shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant to the topic, making the essay coherent overall.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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