IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Many people think it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why is it so and what can be done about it?

#people #environment #effort
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It's
crucial
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a crucial
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 issue that
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 participate in
protect
Fix the infinitive
to protect
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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،most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
dont
Correct your spelling
do not
 have
quest
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a quest
the quest
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 for that
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why it
Correct your spelling
occurs
occures
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occurs
 and what's solution It's clear that people don't have enough information about what exactly can be
beneficial
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a beneficial
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 way to protect
environment
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the environment
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 a case in
apoint
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point
 is these issues not raises in schools another reason is they firmly believe in government is
also
Linking Words
 responsible
to
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for
show examples
 a certain extent. The government should educate people about these problems and encourage us to change our habits,they need to show everyone that we are putting the very future of our planet at risk. We can
also
Linking Words
 help protect our environment by not using
Add a hyphen
phosphate-based
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phosphate based
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phosphate-based
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 detergents,
this
Linking Words
 will help to keep pollutants out of our
foodchain
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food chain
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Submitted by ghorbanisahar355 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clearer introduction and conclusion. An introduction should provide an overview of the topic and outline the main points that will be discussed. The conclusion should summarize the key points and provide a final thought or call to action.
task achievement
Try to develop the main points more thoroughly by providing specific examples and elaborating on them. For instance, explain how exactly people can protect the environment in their daily lives.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow the argument more easily. Examples include 'Firstly, Secondly, Consequently, As a result, Moreover, In addition, etc.'
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and attempts to provide reasons for why people don't make efforts to protect the environment and suggests some solutions.
task achievement
The writer has identified the role of the government and education in encouraging environmental protection, which is a strong point in the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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