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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.
#bar #percentage #residents’ #coffee #tea #habits #weeks #five #cities #sydney #melbourne #brisbane #adelaide #hobart #australia
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The provided bar chart compares 5 different
cities
(Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Overall
,what stands out from the bar chart
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 fresh
coffee
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 was the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in the 5 different
cities
while
 the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to the
cafe
 for
coffee
 or tea
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest. now,turning to the details it can be noticed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Melbourne was the most consuming
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Change preposition
at
show examples
around (65%)in the
bast
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 4 weeks
while
 the purchasing of instant
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 was (46%) few people visited the
cafe
 around (45%).In terms of consuming fresh
coffee
 in Hobart was (45%) and instant
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 was the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in the 5 different
cities
 (50%)
while
 the
cafe
 was
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 above (35%).On
Correct article usage
the onther
show examples
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand Brisbane, Adelaide the consuming fresh
coffee
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 (55%),(45%)
whlie
Correct your spelling
whereas
nstant coffe
Correct your spelling
constant coffee
 was second
consuming
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
 in both
cities
 (50%),(45%) the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 dropped
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 (35%),(30%). In
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
 purchasing of fresh
coffee
 a
rise
Replace the word
risen
show examples
 (60%)
while
 the
cafe
 or tea is close together
Submitted by saraalsabaiti42 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, coffee, cafe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • residents
  • habits
  • purchasing
  • consuming
  • illustrates
  • comparison
  • preferences
  • trend
  • frequency
  • café culture
  • observations
  • urban lifestyle
  • fresh coffee
  • instant coffee
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