Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there are a variety of large multinational
companies
which are appearing and starting increasing
in many countries, leading to help countries to develop. Change the verb form
to increase
Therefore
, the development of small traders are
gradually limited and being replaced by large corporations. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
This
essay will discuss both benefits
and drawbacks of that problem and Correct article usage
the benefits
then
state my viewpoint.
To begin
with, there are many positive aspects of this
change,
when the large multinational Remove the comma
apply
companies
are increasing which can interconnect with other countries to create more resouces
, Correct your spelling
resources
as a
result
the economy will flourish significantly. Add a comma
result,
Moreover
, the
international firms could provide customers not only a number of Correct article usage
apply
high quality
productsAdd a hyphen
high-quality
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a hike in the
prices, compared to small businesses. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, it is a big chance for people to have well paid
jobs, Add a hyphen
well-paid
hence
their incomes will increase and be able to raise their family, leading to their
good living standard. As a matter of fact, in Vietnam, in the past, children used to buy goods in small stores but now, they tend to shop at well-known retail chains and have a diversity of choices and save time.
Change the word
a
On the other hand
, since the local brands are displaced by large corporations, the unemployment rate has greatly increased. As a result
, it will generate competition for businesses, so people have to seek jobs in other places. This
causes the economy to depend on foreign companies
and a financial burden on individuals. For example
, recently, most people prefer
to choose global brands over local brands to buy their clothes, so they have to spend an excessive amount of money for the same product with only a different brand name. Wrong verb form
have preferred
This
would lead to a breakthrough in the economy.
In conclusion, although
the appearance of large multinational companies
can bring a number of benefits, in my opinion, I consider that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. This
situation might cause small businesses to go bankrupt and lead to economic deterioration.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Overall Writing
Work on making your points more concise to improve clarity and keep the essay within the word limit. Avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. Occasionally, your paragraphs drift slightly off-topic.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced view with more detailed disadvantages and advantages of large multinational companies. This can help strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
You included relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Vietnam, which adds depth to your argument.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and cover both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue.