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Band 5.5

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
#show #results #questionnaire #visitors #parkway #hotel #customer #service #guests #years
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The pie charts compare visitors’ responses to a survey about
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 at the Parkway Hotel in 2005 and in 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
overall
Linking Words
customer
Use synonyms
 satisfaction increased considerably from 2005 to 2010.
While
Linking Words
 most hotel guests rated
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 as satisfactory or poor in 2005, a clear majority described the hotel’s
service
Use synonyms
 as good or excellent in 2010. Looking at the positive responses
first,
Linking Words
in 2005 only 5% of the hotel’s visitors rated its
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 as excellent, but
this
Linking Words
 figure rose to 28% in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 only 14% of guests described
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 in the hotel as good in 2005, almost three times as many people gave
this
Linking Words
 rating five years later. With regard to negative feedback, the proportion of guests who considered the hotel’s
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 to be poor fell from 21% in 2005 to only 12% in 2010.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportion of people who thought
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 was very poor dropped from 15% to only 4% over the 5-year period.
Finally
Linking Words
, a fall in the number of ‘satisfactory’ ratings in 2010 reflects the fact that more people gave positive responses to the survey in that year.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words customer, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "described" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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