IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.
The pie charts illustrate how 100 visitors of
Parkway
Correct article usage
the Parkway
show examples
 Hotel rated the hotel’s
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and 2010. It is clearly observed that in 2005, most people were satisfied
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010, the majority of visitors were
good
Correct word choice
satisfied
show examples
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the hotel’s
service
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, dissatisfaction with
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 declined slightly over the years. In more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, in 2005, the number of excellent
felling
Use the right word
feelings
show examples
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
customer
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 was 5 per cent,
while
Linking Words
 that of 2010 was higher at 28 per cent.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for satisfaction with the hotel’s
service
Use synonyms
 was 45% in 2005,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of 2010 was lower at 17%. In 2005, about 15 per cent of people were very poor
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 number decreased marginally and reached only 4%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 14% of visitors selected option good in the questionnaire in
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in 2010
this
Linking Words
 figure rose to
39 percent
Check wording
39%
show examples
. The percentage of the poor in 2005 was 21%
while
Linking Words
 that of 2010 was lower at 12%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words customer, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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