The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and marker comparisons where relevant

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The given graph represents the number of visitors who explored four attractions in Brighton, an art

Gallery

Fix capitalization

gallery

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, pavilion, pier, and festival in England between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the

percentage

Use synonyms

visiting the pavilion and the pire increased over the period.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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the proportion of

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

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to other attractions fell.

To begin

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with, in 1980 only 10% of tourists went to

pire

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Pire

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which rose

Change preposition

apply

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to 15% in 1985 and started fluctuating from 1985 to 2000. From the end of 2000, the

percentage

Use synonyms

uplifted slightly throughout the years.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the Pavilion was the most popular attraction for tourists, in the initial year the

percentage

Use synonyms

was approximately 25%.

Hence

Linking Words

, the

percentage

Use synonyms

of pavilions skyrocketed to almost 50% in 1995. Again, it started to decline and

become

Wrong verb form

became

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31% in 2010. As for art galleries and festivals, the former was 21% in 1980 and went up to around 39% in 1985. After 1985 the

percentage

Use synonyms

started to reduce

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

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over the following year which was less than 10% in 2010.

Additionally

Linking Words

, FestivalsFestivals stayed moderately similar between the former and the latter 30% in 1985 and 29% in 2010.

Submitted by pikku on Thu Jul 18 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

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