IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people prefer to stay in the same job for same company, but other prefer to change job frequently.You should use specific reason to compare the advantages and disadvantages of both sides.

#people #job #company #change #reason
After graduation from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, working as an employee will be most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's destination. Some
people
 think that they should stay in an organization permanently and make their contribution to the
company
,
however
, others believe that changing
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment will be an alternative.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, There must be many reasons that
people
 start changing their careers frequently. First of all, in order to increase the wages, workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
intend to constantly switch their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
.
As a result
, their living quality will be improved because of the raise of the salaries.
Secondly
, some
people
 believe that switching to
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 workforce could make them
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 fresh managerial skills and
know how
Add a hyphen
know-how
show examples
emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
 work in different
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
.
On the other hand
, working in one
company
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 someone
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
sense of responsibility. There is a high chance to be promoted in an organization if you are working
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
hard-working person.
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
show examples
 you will be a reliable person to be trusted in that
company
 and get a decent promotion as well.
For example
, most of the senior managers were nobody at the beginning, after several years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
, they will be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
managerial roles because they are familiar with all
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
 types of jobs in the
company
.
Overall
, if you are not satisfied with
current
Correct pronoun usage
your current
show examples
 employment, changing a job would be an option for you.
Submitted by canondu0828 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support each argument. For instance, give a real-life example of someone who benefited from switching jobs or someone who saw career growth by staying in the same company.
introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay and restating your stance clearly.
logical structure
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Use connectors like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However' effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Check for grammatical inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. For instance, 'people are intend to' should be 'people intend to', and 'managerial roles' should be 'managerial positions'.
complete response
The essay addresses both perspectives and provides reasons for each stance, showing a balanced view.
clear comprehensive ideas
The choice of vocabulary is appropriate for an academic essay, with terms like 'increase the wages' and 'sense of responsibility'.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a conclusion that ties back to the main discussion, although it can be strengthened.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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