Older people choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #money #e #g #holidays #children #retirement #development

Some individuals up in years decide to invest wealth

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their personal needs rather than collect money for their youngsters after retirement.

However

, as far as I am concerned,

this

approach does not facilitate the growth and development of their

offspring’s

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offspring

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, nor the optimum base of skills required to thrive in their future chosen career,

due to

the lack of financial savings that could have been allocated for an easier path to success of their descendants. Needless to say, the children would not be able to have access to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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first-rate education programs.

Also

, without the parents’ appropriate contributions, it’s harder for the child to figure out what their interests, talents and passions are. It cannot be denied that some people think of

this

behavior

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behaviour

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to be healthy and right-minded, considering that the elderly worked hard for their capital and would rather relax,

loosen

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and loosen

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up, by spending on their necessities,

for

instance

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instance,

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a holiday in Cyprus. Despite their judgement on the issue, it’s beyond any doubt a selfish and egoistic attitude.

Moreover

this

idea of placing their wants and needs on top of their son’s or daughter’s is very much going to have a poor effect

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their forthcoming adulthood.

While

it is undeniably wrong to have a mindset

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the one discussed in the topic, I obviously agree with travelling and enjoying the monetary outcomes of working.

For instance

, a trip to hidden and unknown places or at sea, because taking some time for yourself is of course super significant and primary.

Furthermore

, taking a break once in a

while

is beneficial and valid,

although

parents investing in their comfort and not in the future success of their child, is definitely not an example to follow. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with mature people not

willing

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being willing

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to accumulate finances for the proper education,

fact

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the fact

a fact

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that might cause unravelling the physical and mental potential,

as well as

interests of their offspring, but rather spending it all on their desires.

As a result

of their ignorance, the child may be faced with different sorts of impediments.

Submitted by acaitaz on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction presents a clear stance on the topic, but it could be more concise. Consider removing or rephrasing sentences with complex structures that might confuse the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is coherent. Your second paragraph touches on multiple ideas which might dilute its impact. Stick to one central idea per paragraph for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use transition words more consistently to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This can make your essay easier to follow and more structured.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, and reinforces your main points clearly.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a well-rounded discussion of both sides of the argument, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You employ a range of vocabulary and expressions, which enhances the readability and engagement of your essay.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Older people choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both these views and give opinion.

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.