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Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the less of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #species #plants #animals
Nowadays , the question of what the main environmental
problems
 in our time is up for debate as some see that the main issue is the low number of particular
species
 of
plants
 and
animals
while
 others think that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are many other important
problems
 relating to the
environment
 . In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that we should focus on the low number of living
species
 in our time because it is really the most
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
environment
 . To
further
 elaborate , one of the earth's most important factors
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the living
species
 that provide great benefits to our world so when we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough of them our
environment
 will surely suffer .Without
Correct article usage
a doubt
show examples
doubt
Add a comma
doubt,
show examples
 there are other
problems
 but with
this
 problem at
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 more suffering will occur so we need to give our time and effort
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 finding a solution and we have to try to save our
plants
 and
animals
 .
On the other hand
 , some people might think that there are many different
problems
 that our
environment
 is facing that are far more important .
Also
 , they see that
species
 are not the main factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
environment
Change noun form
environment's
show examples
 suffering because the rise and fall of the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
animals
 and
plants
 we have is normal and it should not be a concern .
In addition
 , pollution and deforestation just to name a few are issues that cause great harm far more than the latter .
To sum up
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 see that we should focus on the concerning number of living creatures we have because they are the main cause of the many
problems
 we are facing and we cannot ignore it and deal with other issues unless we find a way to save our
plants
 and
animals
 .
Submitted by aljouri50x50 on

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task achievement
Introduce specific examples to support your claims. For instance, discuss particular species that are endangered or extinct and their impact on the environment.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some vague phrases, such as 'really the most sufficient issue' and 'more suffering will occur.' Consider rephrasing to make your points clearer.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views on the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexities involved.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • extinction
  • irreversible
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • overpopulation
  • resource depletion
  • interconnectivity
  • comprehensive approach
  • immediate health impacts
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