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the bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in australia in 2007.

the bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in australia in 2007.
#bar #hours #week #men #women #australia
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The presented column graph compares Australian
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in terms of their weekly working duration in 2007.
Overall
, citizens’ working duration varied from 0 to above 80
hours
.
In addition
, residents spending 30-50
hours
 per
week
 were the most prevalent in both genders. Turning into detail, with nearly 43%,
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 working between 30 and 50
hours
 per
week
 occupied the highest percentage among 5 groups, followed by a figure of exactly 30% for
60
Correct article usage
the 60
show examples
-80 category.
By contrast
, in comparison to the aforementioned sectors, that of
10
Correct article usage
the 10
show examples
-20 and over 80
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 were remarkably lower, with about 12% and 10%, respectively. Meanwhile,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 working less than 10
hours
 per
week
 accounted for only 5% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 population. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
female counterparts, people spending 30-50
hours
 per
week
 at work occupied 35%, ranking first among all duration groups,
whereas
 that of
10
Correct article usage
the 10
show examples
-20 sector was considerably smaller, with approximately 23%.
In addition
, there was an insignificant difference between
60
Correct article usage
the 60
show examples
-80 and 0-10
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
, in which the former’s percentage of about 18% slightly edged out the latter’s, with 15%. Unlike other sectors, the rate of only a tenth revealed that
fewest
Correct article usage
the fewest
show examples
 Australian women chose to work more than 80
hours
 per
week
.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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