Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. they do not play traditional games, what do you think are the reason for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way.

#children #computer #games #hours #reason #influences

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Nowadays

children

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play

computer

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games

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for long hours. they do not play traditional

games

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, what do you think

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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the reason for

this

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? Do you think it influences

children

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in a good or bad way

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show examples

answer- In the current generation a

computer

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plays a big role in education and in the everyday lives of a family, it is understandable if the

children

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spend more time on

a computers

Correct the article-noun agreement

a computer

computers

show examples

Moreover

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, the

children

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would be looking for new

games

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on the

computer

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This

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change in trend from traditional

games

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computer

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games

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is significant. The reason behind

this

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change in trend will be discussed in the essay with reasoned examples.

To begin

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with, the primary reason behind

this

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change is

constant

Correct article usage

the constant

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stimulation that

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

children

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receive from

computer

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games

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and peer pressure.

The

Correct article usage

Computer

show examples

computer

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games

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20th

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the 20th

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generation are

too

Rephrase

show examples

stimulation

Replace the word

stimulating

show examples

for

children

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than traditional

games

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Correct pronoun usage

they

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allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

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them to pursue their adventurous dreams.

Secondly

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, these new

games

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have communities to complete

strategy based

Add a hyphen

strategy-based

show examples

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

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, to which

children

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often

feels

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feel

show examples

being left out from their peers.

For instance

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, it was recently concluded from the UK school survey, a

classroom

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classrooms

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being

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are being

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divided

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into

show examples

different communities based on these

games

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and kids who are not a part of these

being

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are being

show examples

left out.

However

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, these

computer

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plays a significant role in influencing

behavioral

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behavioural

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tendencies in

children

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which can be discussed in two aspects both good and bad. On one hand, it gives

opportunity

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an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

for

children

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to learn strategizing to complete a task,

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this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

improve

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improves

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cognitive and problem-solving skills.

In addition

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, the communities of

games

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allows

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allow

show examples

youth to

makes

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make

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new friends across the globe.

While

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on the other hand

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, it does have a fair share of negative influence.

Firstly

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, it makes

children

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prone to get

cyber bullied

Correct your spelling

cyberbullied

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

pedophiles

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paedophiles

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and other cyberattacks.

Secondly

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children

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often

gets

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get

show examples

addicted to these

games

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due to

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their over-stimulating traits, which directly affects

ones'

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one's

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ability to focus on

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real-life

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real life

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real-life

show examples

responsibilities In conclusion, there are several reasons for

children

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to not play traditional

games

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as some

believes

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believe

show examples

" traditional

games

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being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

too boring or not stimulating enough as current

computer

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games

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are. In my opinion, unless the child is trying to pursue

their

Change the word

show examples

career in gaming. The bad influence

outweigh

Change the verb form

outweighs

show examples

the positive developments that can be achieved from

this

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trend.

Submitted by nick on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing reasons why children play computer games instead of traditional games and analyzing both positive and negative impacts. However, ensure you elaborate on specific examples to provide stronger support for your points.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence, try to link your ideas more seamlessly. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, in the second paragraph, the flow between discussing stimulation and peer pressure could be more logically connected.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and outlines what will be discussed, which is excellent for guiding the reader.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides your opinion, which is crucial for a strong essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

You bring up good points about both the positive and negative influences of computer games on children, showing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

380 words

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Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. they do not play traditional games, what do you think are the reason for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays ,many parents put pressure on their children so that they excel in schools as well as in other extracurricular activities. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or a negative development for children?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.