Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. they do not play traditional games, what do you think are the reason for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way.
Nowadays
children
play computer
games
for long hours. they do not play traditional games
, what do you think are
the reason for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
? Do you think it influences children
in a good or bad way.
answer- In the current generation a Change the punctuation
?
computer
plays a big role in education and in the everyday lives of a family, it is understandable if the children
spend more time on a computers
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a computer
computers
Moreover
, the children
would be looking for new games
on the computer
. This
change in trend from traditional games
to computer
games
is significant. The reason behind this
change in trend will be discussed in the essay with reasoned examples.
To begin
with, the primary reason behind this
change is constant
stimulation that Correct article usage
the constant
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
receive from computer
games
and peer pressure. The
Correct article usage
Computer
computer
games
in 20th
generation are Correct article usage
the 20th
too
Rephrase
more
stimulation
for Replace the word
stimulating
children
than traditional games
as it
Correct pronoun usage
they
allows
them to pursue their adventurous dreams. Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
Secondly
, these new games
have communities to complete strategy based
Add a hyphen
strategy-based
task
, to which Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
children
often feels
being left out from their peers. Change the verb form
feel
For instance
, it was recently concluded from the UK school survey, a classroom
Fix the agreement mistake
classrooms
being
divided Add a missing verb
are being
in
different communities based on these Change the preposition
into
games
and kids who are not a part of these being
left out.
Add a missing verb
are being
However
, these computer
plays a significant role in influencing behavioral
tendencies in Change the spelling
behavioural
children
which can be discussed in two aspects both good and bad. On one hand, it gives opportunity
for Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
children
to learn strategizing to complete a task, this
Correct pronoun usage
which
improve
cognitive and problem-solving skills. Change the verb form
improves
In addition
, the communities of games
allows
youth to Change the verb form
allow
makes
new friends across the globe. Wrong verb form
make
While
on the other hand
, it does have a fair share of negative influence. Firstly
, it makes children
prone to get cyber bullied
, Correct your spelling
cyberbullied
and
Correct word choice
apply
pedophiles
and other cyberattacks. Change the spelling
paedophiles
Secondly
, children
often gets
addicted to these Change the verb form
get
games
due to
their over-stimulating traits, which directly affects ones'
ability to focus on Change noun form
one's
Add a hyphen
real-life
real life
responsibilities
In conclusion, there are several reasons for Add a hyphen
real-life
children
to not play traditional games
as some believes
" traditional Change the verb form
believe
games
being
too boring or not stimulating enough as current Wrong verb form
are
computer
games
are. In my opinion, unless the child is trying to pursue their
career in gaming. The bad influence Change the word
a
outweigh
the positive developments that can be achieved from Change the verb form
outweighs
this
trend.Submitted by nick
on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing reasons why children play computer games instead of traditional games and analyzing both positive and negative impacts. However, ensure you elaborate on specific examples to provide stronger support for your points.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, try to link your ideas more seamlessly. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, in the second paragraph, the flow between discussing stimulation and peer pressure could be more logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context for the essay and outlines what will be discussed, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides your opinion, which is crucial for a strong essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You bring up good points about both the positive and negative influences of computer games on children, showing a balanced view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example