The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement- making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement- making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Two diagrams illustrate the process of
cement
production
and concrete
production
.
Overall
, it can be inferred that in total, there are four different stages in the
production
of
cement
and concrete, starting from crushing limestone and clay in
cement
production
and ending with mixing the raw materials in concrete
production
.
Initially
, two main ingredients in
cement
production
, which are limestone and clay, are crushed until
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
powder
in a machine called
“crusher”
Correct article usage
a “crusher”
show examples
. The
powder
then
Add a missing verb
is then
show examples
mixed in the mixer to blend them
altogether
Rephrase
together
show examples
. Afterwards, the mixed
powder
enters the rotating heater, which is shaped like a tube, with flames used to heat them in the below surface. Once it is all heated, the hot
powder
is grounded in a grinder machine until it forms
into
Change preposition
apply
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a superfine
powder
, called “
cement
”. The readily-used
cement
is
then
packed into bags, usually made of a strong type of paper or plastic.
Subsequently
, the process of concrete
production
begins. The proportion of all raw materials needed for making concrete
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
50% small stones,
also
known as “gravel”, 25% sand, 15% of
cement
, and 10% water.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the final stage, all those materials are placed into a machine called
“concrete
Correct article usage
a “concrete
show examples
mixer” until they are all mixed well and the concrete is ready to be used.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production, powder with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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