In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?
There is no denying the fact that traditional culture is one of our main life and reality.
This
essay will discuss how could
traditional be capable Verb problem
apply
to
Change preposition
of
pose
a great effect on traditional Verb problem
having
costumes
and what is
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
that
could help Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to
connect with a country’s past.
Verb problem
apply
To begin
with, there are many ways
for traditional costumes
to change our present and being
effective. Wrong verb form
be
Firstly
, traditional costumes
are still crucial during weddings and religious festivals. In other world
Add a comma
world,
people
could wear traditional costumes
and eat special food. In addation
, it is vital to make more Correct your spelling
addition
celebreties
and ceremonies with traditional Correct your spelling
celebrations
costumes
. For example
, it is crucial to maintain our different culture
identities.Replace the word
cultural
Furthermore
, parents could teach their children the
traditional skills and how to protect Correct article usage
apply
thier
Correct your spelling
their
hestorical
places.
In Correct your spelling
historical
term
of, Fix the agreement mistake
terms
their
are various Replace the word
there
ways
that can help citizen
and the economic growth in every country. It is Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
also
possible to say that their
are many factories for Replace the word
there
tradational
Correct your spelling
traditional
attires
, which we can encourage them to produce more Fix the agreement mistake
attire
number of
clothes and to keep our tradition Correct quantifier usage
apply
remindable
. Correct your spelling
rewindable
remind able
remittable
Moreover
, their
are many reasons for losing traditional skills. Replace the word
there
For instance
, because of the
industrialisation and global trade, many traditions have disappeared and factory work is boring and leaves Correct article usage
apply
people
feeling unfulfilled, because of that we chould
make products Correct your spelling
could
should
more
cheaper, which means that more Change the word
apply
people
can buy them.
In conclusion, there are many ways
that makes
traditional Change the verb form
make
costumes
effective in our present.
It is also
true that there are various ways
that can improve and serve people
in order to connect a country’s past.Submitted by pcah70 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more concise and clearer thesis statement. For example: 'This essay will discuss the effectiveness of traditional costumes in preserving cultural heritage and explore other methods to connect with a nation's past.'
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. This will make your essay easier to follow and more logically structured.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your main points. For example, you could mention specific traditional festivals or ceremonies, and how they help preserve cultural heritage.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt by discussing both the effectiveness of traditional costumes and other ways to connect with a country's past.
task achievement
Your essay touches on some good points such as traditional costumes during weddings and festivals, as well as the impact of industrialization on traditional skills.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, although they could be more developed and specific.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.