IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?

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Now, social
media
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 is a crucial part of
youth
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's lives.
However
Linking Words
, its impact is frequently criticized. Actually, social
media
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 has positive impacts on young
people
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's
live
Replace the word
lives
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 as long as they
wisely
Add a missing verb
are wisely
show examples
 enough to use it. Indeed, the negative impacts of it are inevitable. I will discuss it below. Social
media
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 can be a way for
youth
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 to make
money
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.
In other words
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, social
media
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
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 easier to search for jobs,
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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, and be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
. Beforehand,
people
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 must
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking
show examples
 for
job
Add an article
a job
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on
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in
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 a newspaper and
sending
Change the verb form
send
be sending
show examples
CV
Correct article usage
a CV
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 directly to the office. But, nowadays,
youth
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 can
as
Add a missing verb
do as
show examples
 simple as through their social
media
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 and find the occupation they want.
For example
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, creating
contents
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content
show examples
 and uploading it on social
media
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 can possible
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people
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for people
show examples
 to get
money
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 from it. Not only that,
youth
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 can inspire other youths to make
money
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 in an easy and beneficial way. Unfortunately, there are some
youth
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 that
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 social
media
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 to harm other
people
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. What I mean is cyberbullying. In
a
Correct article usage
the
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 real world, it is a common phenomenon that one teenager are
bullying
Wrong verb form
bully
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 other teenagers.
On
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In
show examples
 the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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, the problem become serious because there is social
media
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. Teenagers can get hate comments
due to
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 their
appereance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 on social
media
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.
For instance
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, there is a
youth
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 idol in Korea who got cyberbullied and
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
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 to
did
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do
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 suicide.
To sum up
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, social
media
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 is important for
youth
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's lives. It can
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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 to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
money
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.
Nevertheless
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, it should
be remember
Change the verb form
be remembered
show examples
 that social
media
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also
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 have bad impacts, like cyberbullying. I highly recommend
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to aware of
this
Linking Words
 problem and more focus on the advantages of social
media
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction provides a general overview but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
Task Achievement
While your essay addresses both the positive and negative impacts of social media, some points could be elaborated further. For instance, you could provide more examples of how social media can be used for monetary gains and how it can contribute to cyberbullying.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with sentence structure and word choice. For instance, 'live' should be 'lives', and 'wisely enough to use it' should be 'wise enough to use it.' These minor errors can sometimes affect the clarity of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Using transition words like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion' can help guide the reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude each paragraph by summarizing the main point before moving on to the next. This can help improve the flow and cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay does a good job of touching on both the advantages and disadvantages of social media in young people's lives, providing a balanced view.
Task Achievement
You have used some relevant examples to illustrate your points, which helps to make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and provides a recommendation, which is a strong way to end your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • educational content
  • self-expression
  • cyberbullying
  • addiction
  • mental health issues
  • privacy concerns
  • identity theft
  • sleep patterns
  • digital space
  • social networking platforms
  • information access
  • creativity
  • self-expression
  • showcase talents
What to do next:
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