It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is hard to deny that sometimes
punishment
may hurt children
's feelings when they are still young, such
a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that punishment
is not necessary to help children
to
learn the difference between right and wrong. Verb problem
apply
However
, such
a statement suffers from both logical and factural
fallacies and it should be examined particularly. As effectiveness, personal growth and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold the opinion that Correct your spelling
factual
punishment
is necessary to help children
to
tell the difference between right and wrong.
First and foremost, Verb problem
apply
punishment
is the directest way
to inform children
when they are wrong, as they are still too young to understand some deep lessons. To be specific, a child's brain is not ready to absorb experience
given by words, at Correct article usage
the experience
this
time, proper punishment
is the best way
to make the child remember a lesson. In addition
, compared with other ways to teach children
, punishment
can always leave them much
deeper impression, ensuring they will not make it wrong the next time.
Add an article
a much
Furthermore
, the fact that receiving punishment
from parents or teachers is a good way
for children
to develop their personalities and resilience indicates that punishment
is necessary. Take the case of my little cousin Sara, who is just a five-year-old child among thousands, she was once so naughty that throwing things onto the ground just for fun, in order to change her habit, her parents punished her by not allowing her to eat her favrouite
candies for a whole week. Correct your spelling
favourite
As a result
, she never throw
things again. Had it not been for Change the verb form
throws
punishment
, Sara would never realise
throwing things is wrong so fast.
Wrong verb form
have realised
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that punishment
may hurt children
's feelings as they are too young. Ironically, punishment
does not mean to punch
Change the verb form
punching
children
or yell
at them loudly, Wrong verb form
yelling
instead
, the aim of proper punishment
is not to frighten children
, but using
soft and acceptable ways to teach Change the verb form
to use
children
a lesson. The following comes
some good ways of Verb problem
are
punishment
. For parents, not allowing children
to enjoy their favourite food, not
buying the toys they want for them always Correct word choice
and not
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
children
a
deep impression Change preposition
with a
on
the mistakes they made; for teachers, asking Change preposition
of
children
to write down the
mistakes after school and apologize for the mistake next day is a good Change the word
their
way
to teach them good behaviors.
In conclusion, to help children
learn the difference between right and wrong, punishment
is necessary. When taking punishment
, children
will gradually form their own personalities and resilience.Submitted by RaymondHuang
on
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task achievement
While the task has been addressed sufficiently, consider providing a more balanced perspective by discussing both sides of the argument more equally. This will show a well-rounded ability to engage with complex topics.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For example, using transition words like 'Moreover,' and 'In addition,' more effectively can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be simplified for better clarity. Avoid overly complex structures which might confuse the reader. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the main points and summarizing them effectively at the end.
task achievement
The examples given, such as the one involving your cousin Sara, are relevant and help to illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
You have provided clear and comprehensive arguments that support your opinion, making your stance on the issue very clear.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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