It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?     Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.   Write at least 250 words.

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It is hard to deny that sometimes
punishment
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may hurt
children
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's feelings when they are still young,
such
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a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that
punishment
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is not necessary to help
children
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to
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apply
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learn the difference between right and wrong.
However
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,
such
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a statement suffers from both logical and
factural
Correct your spelling
factual
fallacies and it should be examined particularly. As effectiveness, personal growth and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold the opinion that
punishment
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is necessary to help
children
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to
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apply
show examples
tell the difference between right and wrong. First and foremost,
punishment
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is the directest
way
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to inform
children
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when they are wrong, as they are still too young to understand some deep lessons. To be specific, a child's brain is not ready to absorb
experience
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the experience
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given by words, at
this
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time, proper
punishment
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is the best
way
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to make the child remember a lesson.
In addition
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, compared with other ways to teach
children
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,
punishment
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can always leave them
much
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a much
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deeper impression, ensuring they will not make it wrong the next time.
Furthermore
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, the fact that receiving
punishment
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from parents or teachers is a good
way
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for
children
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to develop their personalities and resilience indicates that
punishment
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is necessary. Take the case of my little cousin Sara, who is just a five-year-old child among thousands, she was once so naughty that throwing things onto the ground just for fun, in order to change her habit, her parents punished her by not allowing her to eat her
favrouite
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favourite
candies for a whole week.
As a result
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, she never
throw
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throws
show examples
things again. Had it not been for
punishment
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, Sara would never
realise
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have realised
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throwing things is wrong so fast.
Nevertheless
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, a voice arises that
punishment
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may hurt
children
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's feelings as they are too young. Ironically,
punishment
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does not mean
to punch
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punching
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children
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or
yell
Wrong verb form
yelling
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at them loudly,
instead
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, the aim of proper
punishment
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is not to frighten
children
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, but
using
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to use
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soft and acceptable ways to teach
children
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a lesson. The following
comes
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are
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some good ways of
punishment
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. For parents, not allowing
children
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to enjoy their favourite food,
not
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and not
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buying the toys they want for them always
leave
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leaves
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children
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a
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with a
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deep impression
on
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of
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the mistakes they made; for teachers, asking
children
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to write down
the
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their
show examples
mistakes after school and apologize for the mistake next day is a good
way
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to teach them good behaviors. In conclusion, to help
children
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learn the difference between right and wrong,
punishment
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is necessary. When taking
punishment
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,
children
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will gradually form their own personalities and resilience.
Submitted by RaymondHuang on

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task achievement
While the task has been addressed sufficiently, consider providing a more balanced perspective by discussing both sides of the argument more equally. This will show a well-rounded ability to engage with complex topics.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For example, using transition words like 'Moreover,' and 'In addition,' more effectively can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be simplified for better clarity. Avoid overly complex structures which might confuse the reader. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the main points and summarizing them effectively at the end.
task achievement
The examples given, such as the one involving your cousin Sara, are relevant and help to illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
You have provided clear and comprehensive arguments that support your opinion, making your stance on the issue very clear.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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